


A Fresh Perspective

by gigglemayhem



Series: All for a Smile [2]
Category: 2PM, Beast (Band), Big Bang (Band), Dong Bang Shin Ki, MBLAQ, SHINee, SS501, Super Junior, U-KISS
Genre: F/M, M/M, We Got Married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:52:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglemayhem/pseuds/gigglemayhem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some members of the new "We Got Married" crew are reluctant to participate. With the help of friends and Super Junior's badass undercover PR skills, PD Na just might make it all work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Little Help from My Friends

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you wondering why I have the "Mature Content" initiated for this series: I do plan on putting in some adult stuff (Like porn/smut. *gasp*) later on in the story. Even though it's pretty tame now, you shouldn't get caught up in the story if you're uncomfortable with gay content or any sexual content. Just so you know.

Na rubbed his tired eyes. Jaehee looked over from the puzzle he was putting together.  
  
“Problems?” he asked softly.  
  
 _Woops_. Na firmly pushed away his papers. He had promised himself he wouldn’t express any sort of stress in front of his ill friend, and here he had gone and done just that.  
  
“It’s nothing I wasn’t expecting,” he replied calmly, turning to the puzzle to help Jaehee.  
  
“Bullshit,” Jaehee said pointedly. “I’m a dying man, Hyung. I’m trying to live my life to the fullest, even now. Even though I may not live to see this drama resolve itself, I still want to be a part of it. Whatever your problems are, your sweet dongsaeng here will help you as best he can.” Jaehee fluttered his eyelashes in mock-flirtation, bringing out a smile from Na.  
  
Na drew his knees up to his chin and settled in to explain. “Well, it’s like this: I knew there were going to be objections from the participants, their managements, and their parents. And when the first episode airs, there’s going to be a shitload of mayhem on the fans’ front. Even so, I can’t help but be a little disappointed when someone asks to drop out so soon. I mean, I specifically chose people who I was sure had enough experience and support from their management to handle this kind of bizarre situation.”  
  
“So, what’s the status of everyone so far?” Jaehee asked, facing Na and leaving his puzzle forgotten.  
  
“YG is being cool and letting the Big Bang members stay, thank _God_. Seunggi hasn’t requested to be removed, but knowing him, I think he isn’t quite decided yet. If we play our cards right, we can convince him to stay, though. So I’m pretty sure the Seungsung Couple will survive.”  
  
“Seungsung?” Jaehee asked, lifting a nonexistent eyebrow.  
  
“That’s the couple name I’ve come up for them until they get something from the Netizens,” Na explained. He continued, “As for Alex, he seemed fine to continue with this, and asked for me to disregard his parents’ future complaints.” Na chuckled darkly, pleased to have one couple firmly in place. “So it seems the Alhyun Couple -- the “hyun” part is for TOP’s real name, Seunghyun, by the way -- is here for good.”  
  
Jaehee gave Na a high-five before Na continued. “Hyung Joon called and asked to be taken out, and so has Yoseob, for that matter. I was so looking forward to having a cute couple,” Na pouted. Jaehee patted his hand sympathetically. “Oh well. I suppose putting Taecyeon and Kevin together will make up for it. Oh, right, JYPE and NHM seem okay with this, by the way.”  
  
“SME wants to pull out their three men. Onew’s parents called and gave me a good earful.” Na rubbed his ear, which had been hurting since that phone call from a few hours before. To say that Onew’s parents were pissed was an understatement.  
  
“As for Yunho, he has expressed interest in continuing, in spite of SME’s decision. Junsu, too. Although he may have a more difficult time convincing his management to let him stay because they want him out also. I’m planning on trying to convince their managements by suggesting to them that this will probably help to mend bad relations between the two groups. I’ve asked both Yunho and Junsu to talk to their members and get them to put in their support on this matter.”  
  
“In terms of Yesung, we might have a chance at keeping him in the game. Super Junior is on our side, after all.” Both men grinned, remembering the phone call from Leeteuk concerning his group’s support. “In fact, they may be our best chance at keeping this all together. I’m the most hopeful when it comes to them.”  
  
“So in all, we have...” Na pulled the papers back towards him, tallying the numbers, “...two couples that are definite, one of them being G.O. and Juri. Seungsung seems definite, but it’s really too soon to tell. The Joonvin and Aegyo Couples each have a member asking to leave, so they probably will be combined to make a third solid couple. The Sunshine Couple might be solid, if only I could get their managements to agree. And as for Yesung, I’m probably going to have to find someone new, perhaps from JYPE, NHM, or YG...”.  
  
“So, at best, we have six solid couples. At worst, we have three. Realistically speaking, we’ll have four, since I doubt SME is going to agree without a fight. But I’m an optimistic bastard who will trust the likes of Super Junior to bring up my luck.”  
  
Insu entered the room at that moment, having come back from work.  
  
“You? Optimistic?” he scoffed.  
  
Jaehee briefly explained the situation to his partner. Insu nodded in understanding. Then he cocked his head in a strange manner, as if he and Jaehee were suddenly communicating telepathically. Na was intrigued, but waited for the silent communication to reach a conclusion before asking for an explanation.  
  
Insu nodded once more at Jaehee, giving the younger man permission to do the explaining. “Well, you see, Insu-hyung and I have been talking, and we were thinking that the two of us could have a talk with the cast, either on or off-screen. We could talk with them about the realities of gay life, how to deal with issues of adversity, etc. It might help clear up any committment issues, if you can convince all of the original cast plus management representatives to come,” Jaehee offered helpfully.  
  
Na stared at him expressionless for a few moments. “Y’know,” he finally said thoughtfully, “that might just work.” Then he frowned. “It would have to be off-screen, though, because I’m really not comfortable with exposing the two of you to public opinion just yet. Sorry.”  
  
“You’re right,” Insu put in quickly, before Jaehee could say anything. The way he glared at Jaehee to keep quiet got Na suspicious. Obviously they had talked together about something more, but it was too touchy a subject to tell Na just yet.  
  
Na kept his peace as the two other men made some arrangements with the hospital to be in a VIP room for a week so the WGM participants could visit safely. Na left the room when they got the okay.  
  
He pulled out his phone and dialed Seunggi first.  
  
“Hyung! To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?” the younger man immediately said.  
  
Na relaxed, relieved that Seunggi didn’t seem to be upset with him like he feared. “I have a request to make of you that I am also making of everyone else. Do you have a few hours available sometime this week?”  
  
“Hmmm... Is it for filming?”  
  
“No, but it’s related to the filming. Basically, you would be meeting with a gay couple to hear their story, and you would get to ask them questions. It’s to get you a bit more comfortable in your role, if you’re still willing.”  
  
“... I’d be willing to meet with them if I can. But Hyung... are you ever going to tell me the reason why you’re doing this in the first place? The gay theme, I mean.”  
  
Na pursed his lips, considering whether to spell it out now or later. “If the reason doesn’t become clear enough when you meet this couple, I’ll explain it to you,” Na responded, choosing later.  
  
“Oh. Okay. Well, I’ll talk with my manager and we’ll get back to you soon.”  
  
“Great. And Seunggi-ah, if you do make it, come sometime during hospital visiting hours,” Na added belatedly.  
  
“Visiting hours? Okay,” Seunggi replied, ending the conversation.  
  
Na called Daesung and TOP next, getting an immediate okay from them and their manager. He spoke briefly with SM management, and was refused outright.  
  
Gritting his teeth in grim determination, he called Leeteuk.  
  
“Hyung-nim! What can I do for you?”  
  
“How’s it going with the subterfuge?”  
  
“Oh, slowly but surely. We’re about to leak a few pictures, though, to get things moving faster. Would it be okay to leak the ones of Yesung, Onew, Yunho, and Junsu?” Leeteuk inquired.  
  
“Yesung and Onew: yes. Yunho and Junsu: ...I’m not sure. It would have a big impact, for sure, but it might have a negative result based on the already-strong feelings of everyone,” Na warned.  
  
“Oh, leave the positive-negative impacts to us. We’re pros at this. _Trust_ us.” Na could almost see Leeteuk’s cheeky smile as he said this.  
  
“Excellent. Make it so.” Na moved on then to the other order of business, explaining his desire for a covert meeting with the three SM participants. Leeteuk guaranteed he could get some time off for them.  
  
G.O. and Juri were quickly convinced, as well as Alex, Taecyeon, and Kevin. Na twiddled his thumbs a bit as he thought about how to convince the final three. He figured that Junsu would have the desire to come, but not necessarily the means. Na was proven correct when he called the younger man, and therefore offered the option of a video-conference call.  
  
“I could do that. I’m still not sure I can convince my management about participating, though...” Junsu said doubtfully.  
  
“As your leader, might Jaejoong-” Na offered.  
  
“ _No_! Er, I mean, I don’t feel right asking such a thing of him. I haven’t yet told him about... this. It’s still a rather touchy subject, y’know.”  
  
Na sighed, disappointed. “Yeah, I understand. Well, I’ll think of something. Just have the meeting for now and leave the rest to me.”  
  
 _Well, so much for that idea_ , Na thought to himself. He had hoped to use Jaejoong’s friendship with SS501’s leader to help with convincing Hyung Joon, but now he would have to think of something different.  
  
Almost immediately, the answer struck him. He called Leeteuk again.  
  
“Hyung, the responses are fairly positive so far!” Leeteuk reported as he picked up the phone.  
  
“Great!” Na smiled for the first time in hours. He was looking forward to seeing the results of Super Junior’s labor later. “Teukie-ah, I have another favor to ask...”  
  
“Shoot.”  
  
“Is there anyone in Super Junior who is close with Heo Young Saeng-sshi?”  
  
Leeteuk answered in the affirmative. Na went on to ask him to contact him and see if he could change Hyung Joon’s mind.  
  
“Will do!” Leeteuk chirped enthusiastically. “I’ll call you back as soon as I get a response.”  
  
“Thanks,” Na said, ending the call and dialing the final number.  
  
“Hello again!” G.O. answered.  
  
“Hey, do you possibly have the number of someone in Beast who would be willing to change Yoseob’s mind?” Na requested.  
  
G.O. happened to have several, in fact. He told Na what he had heard of Beast’s reception of the “news” of Yoseob’s marriage.  
  
Na sniggered. “No wonder he wants to pull out,” Na mused.  
  
“Yeah, well, you should probably call either Doojoon or Kikwang if you want to persuade Seobie. He trusts their judgements the most,” G.O. supplied helpfully.  
  
“Noted. Thanks.”  
  
Na called Doojoon.  
  
Doojoon was definitely supportive. He did mention to Na that Yoseob probably wouldn’t agree to come, though.  
  
“Is there any way you could trick him into coming?” Na asked, feeling a bit desperate.  
  
“We _can_ trick him,” Doojoon responded slowly. “Would it be okay if Kikwang sat in as well? If Yoseob still isn’t convinced in the end, Kiki might be your last resort. He has... guilt-tripping powers, you could say.”  
  
Na sighed in relief for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. “Yes, please do invite Kikwang-sshi along. The more the merrier!”  
  
With the preliminary calls finished, Na retired back to the hospital room. He, Jaehee, and Insu were admiring Super Junior’s paparazzi handiwork on the internet when Leeteuk called back to let him know Young Saeng would help.  
  
The rest of the day passed happily until SM managers called him to complain about the pictures on the internet. With grim satisfaction, Na falsely promised to help cover up and remove the photos.  
  
“After all, we don’t want the show’s contents to be revealed before it’s aired, do we?” Na responded seriously, with his trademark evil grin plastered on his face.  
  
He made enough effort to take off pictures so SM could feel at ease, but left the netizens alone to reproduce them like wildfire.  
  
Na relaxed with a satisfied grin on his face, waiting for the first conference call with Junsu that evening.


	2. Video Conference 1: Junsu POV

Junsu fidgeted in his chair in front of the computer, waiting for Na to contact him. He had just gotten back from a radio schedule.  
  
He glanced at his watch. _Anytime now_.  
  
He was fortunate that Jaejoong and Yoochun both decided to go grocery shopping. Not only did he lack the courage to tell Jaejoong -- Yunho’s ex -- but he couldn’t bear to tell Yoochun either even though he had broken up with him long ago.  
  
It had been fifteen minutes since his hyungs had left. Even though Junsu had requested a meal that would require a lot of ingredients, he didn’t doubt Jaejoong’s ability to shop quickly. If he was lucky, Junsu would have forty-five minutes or so of uninterrupted time.  
  
The dial tone sounded on his computer. He jumped and answered quickly, as if he would lose his opportunity by the second ring. Na’s face filled the screen before he moved back to introduce Jaehee and Insu. Junsu nodded to each politely.  
  
Before they began talking, Na leaned in and asked, “There was another person who requested a video conference. Er, Yunho, specifically. Would it be okay if he joined us for this?”  
  
Junsu’s heart did a little flutter as he nodded quickly. He didn’t trust his voice to maintain his dignity.  
  
 _You lucky bastard_ , his inner voice said smugly. _You lucky, lucky bastard_.  
 _  
Yeah, I know_ , Junsu thought back happily, staring at the screen anticipatorially as Na called Yunho.  
  
“Hello?” a familiar voice answered.  
 _  
Mmmm..._ , his inner voice hummed happily. Junsu knew what it was thinking of, and shushed it immediately. Too many times he had wanked off to Yunho’s voice and to the reruns of shows he had downloaded to his computer.  
  
He would not resort to habits during a live conference call. He _wouldn’t_.  
  
Yunho’s face appeared on the screen. Junsu gulped. _Maybe later I will_ , he thought, keeping his hands solidly on his armrests.  
  
 _Pssh! Like hell I’m waiting til later_ , his inner voice scoffed, tugging on his own imaginary cock.  
  
Junsu gritted his teeth and focused on the conversation at hand.  
  
“So, we’re here with you this evening to talk with you about the gay life, and how to be comfortable acting in this role if you decide to do it,” Jaehee began after everyone was properly introduced and greeted. Then he dropped the bomb. “But you two don’t really need that lecture since you already know all about it.”  
  
Na stared at Jaehee in shock. Insu stared at him in shock. Yunho’s eyes flicked back and forth between Junsu’s and Jaehee’s images in shock. Junsu stared at Jaehee’s image in shock.  
  
Junsu’s inner voice even stopped its wanking to stare at the cancer patient in shock.  
  
Yunho began to sputter. “I b- _beg_ your pardon?” he squeaked.  
  
Insu’s surprised expression turned to scorching adoration for his lover. “Wow, Honey! I knew you had balls, but you’ve got _balls_!” he complimented, impressed.  
  
“Yes, well, I used to have balls, but judging from the looks on everyone’s faces, it’s like I’ve grown a new pair.  Go me!” Jaehee cheered, waving his arms above his head like a child.  
  
Junsu couldn’t help it. He started laughing.  
  
“Don’t pretend like it isn’t true!” Jaehee chided, wiggling his finger at what Junsu assumed was Yunho’s image. Yunho’s mouth snapped shut.  
  
“How did you know?” Junsu wheezed out between giggles. Yunho glared at the camera in disbelief.  
  
“Pssht! It was obvious. Yunjae and Yoosu couples? We know you probably thought it was being covered up to look like fanservice, but only idiots could miss the sincerity,” Insu stated.  
  
Na pouted. He murmured to himself, “I must have been an idiot, then.”  
  
Jaehee peered at the images of the two men intensely. “I take it those couples no longer exist, though?”  
  
Having gotten over his initial mirth, Junsu pursed his lips and nodded his head shyly. He noted Yunho finally gave in and nodded his head as well.  
  
“Ah, so in that case, not only will the current public sentiments toward DBSK and JYJ’s family reunion be awkward, but it will be awkward in a more personal sense, as well?” Jaehee inquired perceptively.  
  
The two singers nodded again.  
  
“Well! In that case, it’s really up to the two of you to decide whether the show’s worth it or not. Sorry Na-hyung, but personal issues are more important than your show,” Jaehee added as an aside to a pouting Na.  
  
Junsu looked at Yunho, looking for some sign of whether he really wanted to continue the show or not. Judging by Yunho’s intense stare, the older man was probably doing the same with him.  
  
Just then a door opened quietly behind Yunho.  Junsu twitched and shot a warning glance at Yunho. The older man turned around to see Changmin crawling towards him on his hands and knees.  
  
The maknae had the deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face for only a moment before he attacked. Yunho squawked as he was grabbed, thrown around for a bit, then deposited belly-down over Changmin’s lap when the maknae took his seat.  
  
Junsu laughed at the whole spectacle. Changmin smiled cheekily at the camera.  
  
“Changmin-ah! You _idiot_! I’m in the middle of a very serious conversation here!” Yunho said as he flailed uselessly.  
  
Changmin ignored him. “Please excuse me,” he said politely to the individuals in the hospital. He turned to Junsu and put on his serious face, “Junsu-hyung. If you don’t marry Yunho-hyung, I’m _never_ speaking with you again!”  
  
Junsu stopped laughing and promised Changmin in all earnestness, “I can’t guarantee it will happen, but we’ll try, Kiddo.” He smiled sadly at the camera.  
  
Changmin smiled back briefly before standing up, dumping Yunho unceremoniously onto the floor. Before he stepped out of the room, he turned back to Yunho. “Oh, Hyung, be sure to give Junsu-hyung my phone number before you disconnect, will you?” Changmin requested, winking at the camera. Yunho glared at the younger man until he closed the door behind him.  
  
“Pesky little brat,” Yunho muttered as he sat gingerly in his chair once more. He looked at the camera with a mock-pained expression as he said to Junsu, “Why couldn’t _you_ have been the one to stay with me and not Changmin? At least you treat me nicely, if not respectfully.”  
 _  
Whoa there, don’t get too excited now_ , Junsu’s inner voice warned as he suddenly began to imagine what his life would have been like.  
  
“Well, you can’t always have what you wish for,” Junsu returned lamely, his voice going deep and husky accidentally as a particularly erotic image popped into his “what if” slideshow.  
  
He caught suspicious smirks on Insu’s and Jaehee’s faces and he quickly sobered himself. His inner voice snarled in mock-irritation, commenting, _Those two are too perceptive for their own good_.  
  
 _Yes, yes they are_ , Junsu thought back as their conversation was resumed.  
  
“So,” Yunho began hesitantly, licking his lips.  
  
 _Such beautiful, beautiful lips_ , the inner voice mused, reaching down to stroke himself again.  
  
Junsu concentrated on Yunho’s voice, ignoring his inner voice and the warmth pooling to his lower belly. “So if we’re going to do this, how are we going to convince management?”  
  
“Well, you can leave most of that up to me, but I think it is important that you two convince them that reconciliation is important and beneficial. You can refer them to the positive reactions we’ve gotten for the last one,” Na responded.  
  
“Positive reaction?” Junsu asked, confused. “But the show hasn’t even aired yet.”  
  
Na briefly explained Super Junior’s involvement in the PR department. Yunho sniggered as he commented, “Even Changmin’s being helpful.”  
  
“Oh? How?” Junsu’s eyebrow shifted upwards.  
  
“He, Donghae, and Zhou Mi are pretending to be fangirls and are in the process of creating Yunsu and Onsung fanfics in Korean, Japanese, English, and Chinese.”  
  
The image of Changmin writing such fluffy stories got Junsu and his inner voice guffawing once again. It was for this reason that no one heard the voices in JYJ’s dorm until it was too late.  
  
Junsu’s first warning came when Yunho stopped smiling and his expression turned stony. Then he heard the gasp behind him.  
  
He whipped around in his chair to see Jaejoong and Yoochun excusing themselves awkwardly from Junsu’s room. Junsu’s mouth opened and closed like a fish’s, and he had no idea what to say when he turned back to the computer.  
  
Fortunately Yunho, being the spanking awesome leader that he was, came to Junsu’s rescue. “Na PD-nim, Insu-sshi, Jaehee-sshi, would it be alright with you if we continued this conversation some other time?” The other men took the hint and graciously logged off, leaving Yunho and Junsu alone together.  
  
“You still haven’t told them?” Yunho asked quietly after a few long, silent seconds. Junsu shook his head. Yunho sighed before dictating, “Get Jaejoong to come in here and talk with me. You stay outside and explain to Yoochun.”  
  
Junsu nodded and stood up glumly. He was startled when Yunho held him back suddenly. “Wait! Before you go, I need to give you mine and Changmin’s contact information!” Yunho twisted to the side and rummaged in a drawer for a moment. As he typed the information to send to Junsu, he added genuinely, “Y’know, I’d really like for us to do this, but if it’s too uncomfortable for you...”  
  
Junsu shook his head vehemently. His answer was shy, though, “I’d like to do this, too.” Then he bit his lip and looked over his shoulder again, concerned.  
  
Yunho finished typing. “I’ve added a link in case you need cheering up later,” the older man said with an amused smile.  
  
Junsu squinted at the instant message as he saved the file for later. His eyebrows shot upwards. “Wait. Miminhae4ever? You mean...?”  
  
Yunho beamed. “Yes, our Changminnie has finally grown up and gotten laid... with two men.”  
  
Junsu giggled uncontrollably. As he stood up to go with a much lighter feeling in his heart, he told Yunho, “Please send my congratulations. Oh wait, I think I’ll do that myself by writing Miminhae fanfics! Bwahahahaaaaa...”. And with that, he left the room to summon Jaejoong.


	3. Video Conference 1: Yunho POV

Sometimes Yunho wished he was in the habit of drinking alcohol. If he was, then he’d take a huge swig of it so he could face Jaejoong without fear.  
  
In all the years he had known Jaejong intimately, Yunho knew Jaejoong was a family-oriented guy, and didn’t let go of people well. Jaejoong was of the belief that if one tries hard enough, bonds will never be broken. Yunho also believed that, but was more of the opinion that, while bonds aren’t broken, they can be changed.  
  
Like his relationship with Changmin, for instance. Before the split, he and the maknae kept an amicable distance from each other, neither having much reason to get close. But after the split, their bond changed so that they were like brothers.  
  
Yunho’s relationship with Jaejoong, on the other hand, was on hiatus until now. Sure, they had tried to resolve things after the split by calling each other and attempting to date in private. But it was like Yunho had told Yesung: the love-relationship was actually over before the split.  
  
Although the bond for Yunho had changed to a friendly (albeit strained) relationship, for Jaejoong it was still a love-relationship.  
  
Yunho could tell that Jaejoong felt that way based on his body language. Yunho braced himself for what was to come, as Jaejoong shyly looked into the webcam and inquired, “So, you and Junsu are working on a show together?”  
  
“Yes,” Yunho replied stiffly.  
  
“So there might be a chance for us to... to get together and talk about things?” Jaejoong asked hopefully.  
  
Yunho breathed deeply through his nose. Knowing he was going to break Jaejoong’s heart once again, he delved in, “I don’t see any reason to wait the conversation. Boojae-yah-... no... Jaejoong-ah, you and I aren’t ever going to be lovers again. What we had before now is over, and I think we both have had enough time together to know that trying again won’t work,” he emphasized, hating the watery look that was coming into Jaejoong’s eyes because of him. Like he had done countless times before, though, Yunho tried to appease the situation by saying, “I’ll always love you as a friend and a brother, though. Please, Joongie? Can’t we just be friends?”  
  
Jaejoong nodded hesitantly, pointedly looking down at his hands and not at the camera.  
  
“About the show...” Yunho faltered, unsure of how to tactfully proceed with this conversation. After living alone with Changmin all these years, though, he decided to take the blunt approach and tell him the story straightforwardly. His dread grew, though, as Jaejoong’s expression became cloudy with a hint of thunder.  
  
He figured now was a good time to defend Junsu in case Jaejoong needed to storm off soon. “Junsu seems a bit reluctant to do this, though,” Yunho put in quickly, taking all the blame if he could. “He’s worried about how you and Yoochun will react, and probably will not do this if you really don’t want him to.”  
  
“But, wouldn’t it make more sense if I were there in Junsu’s place?” Jaejoong prodded, getting another hopeful gleam in his eyes.  
  
Yunho shot it down immediately. “The first episode has already been filmed. It would be inconsistent if you switched with Junsu.”  
  
Yunho sighed as Jaejoong’s face fell again. “The first episode _will_ be aired. It’s _going_ to be seen. If Junsu and I don’t show up for the next episode, then I’m sure there will be talk of the rift between DBSK and JYJ still existing. It does still exist, but I for one would like an opportunity to overcome it. And this show looks like it’s our chance.”  
  
“Can’t we _try_ to get along, Joongie?” Yunho pleaded, using his best puppy-eyes expression. Jaejoong softened a bit. “Can’t we use this opportunity to get everyone back on the side of DBSK and JYJ becoming friends again? Hm?”  
  
“I won’t do anything to stop this,” Jaejoong conceded finally. “But I’m not going to do anything to help. You’re on your own there.”  
  
“Jaejoong-ah, you aren’t going to be mean to Junsu, are you?” Yunho asked, suddenly uncertain.  
  
Jaejoong glared at the camera. He clenched his teeth before he forced out, “I can’t promise I won’t be angry or jealous, but I’ll _try_ not to kill him.”  
  
Before Yunho knew what was happening, Jaejoong cut off the connection. Yunho quickly pulled out his phone and messaged Junsu.  
  
 _He’s pissed_ , Yunho warned. _Either brace yourself or run_.  
  
Yunho shifted anxiously in his chair for a few minutes before he got a response.  
  
 _Hyung’s in the kitchen. He’s definitely pissed. I’ll probably find a lot of wasabi in my food this evening. :(_  
  
The dial tone sounded on his computer. Yunho frowned at Junsu’s name on the screen and hit the “answer” button, figuring it was one of the other members.  
  
He was right. Yoochun’s face popped onto the screen.  
  
“Chunnie!” Yunho exclaimed brightly, forgetting that he was currently speaking with Junsu’s ex.  
  
“Hyung!” Yoochun responded just as happily.  
  
Long moments passed awkwardly as neither knew what to say to each other next.  
  
“Hyung?” Yoochun said, taking the initiative. “I’m really happy to see you and all, and I have nothing against you and ‘Su getting married, but there’s one thing I feel obligated to say.” Yoochun put on his best serious expression and Yunho tried not to laugh. “If you _ever_ hurt our Junsu, _I’ll kill you_.”  
  
“Understood,” Yunho responded equally seriously. Then, he bashfully told Yoochun, “I don’t think it’s me who you should be worried about, though. As usual, I seem to have gotten Jaejoong upset, and I think he may feel tempted to take it out on Junsu.”  
  
“Understood,” Yoochun said back. Then, the younger man adopted a curiously guilty look on his face that Yunho rarely saw. “Errr... Hyung? You and Jaejoong-hyung are through for good, right?”  
  
 _Whoa_ , Yunho thought. _Is it possible..._?  
  
He nodded and waited for Yoochun to feel comfortable enough to explain himself. “Well... you see... Do you think... that is...”.  
  
“Do you like him?” Yunho asked, losing all patience.  
  
Yoochun blushed a deep red. Yunho grinned.  
  
“Please. Do it. Go. Make him happy like I couldn’t. If you want him, take him,” Yunho encouraged, making shoo-ing motions with his hands.  
  
Yoochun smiled and continued to blush self-consciously. “Thanks, Hyung,” he said before signing off.  
  
 _Thank God_ , Yunho breathed as he relaxed happily in his chair and opened a link to one of Miminhae4ever’s fanfics.


	4. Uncle Phil

“Hi Dad!”  
  
“Hey, Sonny-boy,” was the cheerful response to Alex’s greeting. “How’s life treating you these days? Have you gotten married yet?”  
  
“Yes Dad, I have. You won’t like it, though,” he said in a regretful tone, but still looking forward to the fireworks.  
  
Except when he told the news, the fireworks never came. Not from his dad, at least.  
  
“You’re. married. to. a. _guy_?” his dad asked. Then his dad succumbed to giggles.  
  
Alex pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it as if it had become an alien or something. Dad _never_ giggled like that. He never giggled, period. Not unless he was seriously tickled by the situation.  
  
 _I’ve been in Korea too long_ , thought Alex, slapping his palm to his forehead. He’d forgotten that his dad absolutely loved bizarre events. _It’s probably a result of watching all that British comedy_... Alex thought.  
  
When the phone was back to his ear, Alex heard his dad wheezing out, “Oh man,” - _giggle_ \- “... can’t wait...” - _giggle_ \- “... to tell Uncle Phil!” - _cackle_.  
  
Alex’s eyebrows shot upwards. “Uncle Phil?!” Alex scrabbled about for a pen and paper. “Do you know his contact information? Tell me! Tell me!”  
  
After he told Alex the phone number, the dad said, “I saw him at the supermarket earlier this week. He was buying flowers for Mike.”  
  
Alex went respectfully quiet for a moment, mourning the loss of a man he had barely known. Mike had been Phil’s lover before the Chu family moved next door when Alex was a child. Alex had only seen Mike as the man came and went in his police car. The boy had been told by his parents to stay away from the strange men next door, but Alex couldn’t stay away. Not after Mike was killed and Alex witnessed Phil crying in his garden.  
  
Something changed in Alex’s parents that day, as well. Before, they had been of the belief that gay men were somewhat crazy in the head, and not worth associating with. When they went over to offer the customary neighborly condolences, they ended up staying with Phil for hours. Alex didn’t remember what exactly was said, since he got completely distracted by the awesome train set that trailed through the entire house.  
  
He did remember his dad pulling him aside later that evening to tell him it was okay to befriend their neighbor. Something Phil had said convinced them that sincere love knows no social restrictions. Or rather, it shouldn’t.  
  
From then on, Alex was Phil’s “buddy,” coming over to play after school, taking piano lessons from him. And Phil became like an uncle to him. They lost touch for a while when Alex became an adult, though, and Phil decided it was time to break away from home and see the world.  
  
“So, how’s he been otherwise?” Alex asked.  
  
“He’s been well. He finished his... -- how long has it been? ... A decade long? -- Anyhow, he finished his world tour and has moved back to Vancouver, just in the countryside somewhere. He’s got a boyfriend now, but I have no idea how serious it is.”  
  
The two men indulged in gossip a while longer before Alex moved on to call Phil.  
  
His excitement about talking with his old friend was broken when a smooth voice answered instead of the raspy one he was accustomed to.  
  
“Er, hello?” Alex said, confused. He looked quickly at the numbers he had written down on his phone. “Is... Phil there?” he inquired politely.  
  
“He’s not here at the moment,” the voice responded tersely. “Who is this?”  
  
“I’m Alex,” he replied. Then it occurred to him, “Is this Phil’s boyfriend I’m speaking with?”  
  
“Yes,” the voice snapped, “Now please stop calling. He’s over you, whoever you are. Goodbye.” The phone hung up to the sound of Alex’s laughter.  
  
 _Oh well_ , he thought, tossing the phone to his sofa and picking up the sheet music to a song he was writing. _I’ll try again later_.  
  
He didn’t have to, though, since his phone jangled a few minutes later when Phil called back.  
  
“Buddy!” Phil rasped happily when Alex picked up.  
  
“Uncle Phil!” Alex responded, a huge grin breaking over his face.  
  
“Hey Buddy. Sorry about earlier. I’ve only ever called you ‘buddy’ when I referred you to my Schmootzie here. So naturally he thought you were one of my exes.”  
  
The other man’s voice sounded faintly across the line. “Sorry!” it shouted out.  
  
Alex waved his hand dismissively as he answered, “Meh. It’s nothing. I understand. So, how have you been?”  
  
He and Phil spoke for what must have been a few hours about Phil’s travels before the subject of Alex’s marriage came up. Just like with Alex’s father, Phil succumbed to gurgling laughter as he heard Alex’s news.  
  
When he finally got under control, Phil offered suggestively, “So... do I need to send you two a _care package_?” Alex could almost see Phil’s eyebrows waggling.  
  
“A care package?” said a confused Alex before memories caught up. “Ugh! Uncle Phil! We’re a pretend couple! We wouldn’t actually... we wouldn’t... _guh_!” Alex sputtered out.  
  
Phil gurgled again, and Alex could hear the boyfriend’s tinkling laughter chime in. “Now, now, Buddy-boy, you never know when it could come in handy. Some of those things were helpful in college anyway, am I wrong?”  
  
Alex blushed, slightly ashamed to remember that he had, indeed, been grateful for the condoms, lube, and smattering of sex toys in his college care package. They had been useful in pleasing the ladies, anyway.  
  
“You’re right,” Alex mumbled begrudgingly.  
  
“ _Goooood_ , good,” said Phil, pleased with his easy victory. “So, Buddy, who’s the guy? I have a computer in front of me and am ready to look him up.”  
  
Alex’s blush deepened as he told Phil the relevant information, knowing what the older man’s response would likely be.  
  
“ _Ooooooh..._ ,” Alex heard Phil’s boyfriend say. Phil’s response was similar, except it sounded like he was eyeing a delicious meal instead.  
  
Both men on the other end of the line simultaneously said, “I’d _totally_ tap that” and “That is one _fine_ lookin’ honey right there. _Mmmm_ -mm!”  
  
“Tell me your address, Buddy. I’m definitely sending you a care package and you _will_ use the items I send on him,” Phil ordered. “Or perhaps on yourself. I doubt a guy called TOP would want to bottom...” the older man mused.  
  
Alex covered his face in embarrassment. “ _Gah_! Please _stooooooop_ ,” he whined pitifully, unable to handle this for much longer.  
  
Phil and Phil’s boyfriend only laughed at him.


	5. Too Soon to Tell

“Phil? You don’t mean Phil Crandall, by any chance?”  
  
TOP looked over from Jaehee’s surprised expression to Alex’s even more surprised expression.  
  
“Yes! How do you know him?”  
  
“We were travelling in Europe for a few weeks, visiting the occasional gay club, and we met him and his boyfriend at one in... Germany?” Jaehee looked over at Insu for confirmation. Insu nodded. “We enjoyed hanging out with them for a few days after that. The guy’s hilarious.”  
  
“And what did you all do together in those few days?” Alex inquired in a deceptively innocent tone.  
  
Jaehee wasn’t fooled, though. “Do you mean, ‘did we have gay orgies with each other’?” Alex hung his head in apology, ashamed about being so transparent. Jaehee smiled and patted Alex’s knee to let him know he was forgiven. “That’s one common misconception that people have about gay people: that we fuck anyone and everyone of our gender. Some people are like that, but not Insu and me. And... I don’t think Phil’s like that either. He didn’t seem to me to something other than a one-man-per-relationship sort of guy.”  
  
Alex sighed, apparently relieved that his long-time friend had some morals, at least.  
  
Insu peered over at TOP briefly before asking Alex, “So how did he react when you told him about your, ah, situation? I assume you told him?”  
  
Alex blushed and fidgeted in his seat by Jaehee’s bed. “Yeah, I told him. He’s very... supportive.”  
  
“Did you tell him you married to me?” TOP had to ask.  
  
TOP was intrigued that Alex’s blush had deepened to a darker shade of pink. “Yes.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“He’s... _very_... supportive,” Alex responded finally.  
  
TOP had enough sense to realize that he probably didn’t want to know the details behind Uncle Phil’s “support.” But as he looked over at Jaehee and Insu, he knew that their sly-eyed expressions meant they would dig deeper.  
  
“How supportive?” Jiyoung asked instead. TOP glared at him. Why he had agreed to let their leader come along, he didn’t know. He should have known Jiyoung would be bold enough to ask all the awkward questions.  
  
 _Although, perhaps that’s exactly why I let him come along_ , TOP mused as he watched Alex avoid looking at him and struggle to find the right words.  
  
Alex finally gave up and stated bluntly, “He’s so supportive he’s preparing to send us a frick-load of supplies to keep our sex lives very... active.”  
  
Daesung choked on the water he was drinking. Jiyoung, Insu, Jaehee, and Na all grinned like maniacs. TOP felt like dying of embarrassment.  
  
He hated that his band mates -- as well as Jaehee, although he didn’t know it -- were perceptive enough to know that his eye-twitch was indicative of said embarrassment. Jiyoung sniggered at his discomfort. Daesung also was amused, but at least he had the courtesy to cover up his smile.  
  
TOP tried not to think of what those “supplies” were, lest his twitch become something more extreme.  
  
Jaehee had the good grace to change the topic, and delve into the conversation they had originally come for.  
  
Half-listening to the conversation, TOP’s mind wandered back to his first day with Alex. He had to admit, he was a bit swept off his feet that day. He was sure Daesung had been able to tell that during their conversation afterward, but the younger man was so tactful, TOP couldn’t be sure. Daesung was right, though: he hadn’t noticed how Alex had reacted when TOP did slightly romantic things with him. When he and Daesung watched older WGM episodes of the Alshin couple, TOP watched Alex’s reactions carefully to when she would do something nice for him. Alex was always so delighted, and TOP wondered if he had indeed made Alex feel that way when they were together. He found himself wanting to make Alex smile more, and found himself planning during the breaks in his life on how exactly to do that.  
  
Was he in love? TOP couldn’t honestly answer that. It was too soon to tell. If he was, then this would be the first time he thought of a guy like that. He hadn’t been opposed to the idea of loving a guy before now. He just hadn’t had any such romantic ideas for any man before then.  
  
He looked at Jiyoung and Daesung, who were asking questions of Jaehee. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t think of them romantically. There was only the feeling of friendship. Did he feel the urge to make them feel happy? Yes. Did he want to do it in the same way he wanted to do it for Alex?  
  
...No?  
  
Rephrase: When he had had girlfriends in the past, had he wanted to make them happy like he wanted to make Alex happy?  
  
...Maybe?  
  
TOP sighed silently, frustrated. TOP just wasn’t sure. It was too soon to tell.  
  
“How did you know Insu was the one you wanted to be with?” Daesung asked.  
  
“I knew because he’s the only one whose happiness I cared for above my own.”  
  
 _Do I care for his happiness more than my own? Probably, but I feel like that for Daesung and Jiyoung also._  
  
“Also, he reciprocated. Once I knew he cared for me as much as I cared for him, then I knew we were a good balance.”  
  
 _Does he care for my happiness like I care for his? We shall see...._  
  
“Best friends are the most likely to make the best couples,” Insu added. “So if you find it difficult to pretend to be romantic with each other, then focus on the friendship. It’s surprisingly easy to trick people into thinking you’re a couple when you develop the friendship, and consequently develop mannerisms unique to yourselves that make you look like a couple.”  
  
“That might be a problem for you, though,” Jaehee chimed in, indicating TOP and Daesung. “You two could easily make the mistake of neglecting your respective partners because you are more accustomed to hanging out with each other than with them. In a normal gay relationship, this could likely cause jealousy from your partners. So we strongly suggest that you make the time to be alone with your partners, and let the friendship come naturally that way. And when you two do hang out with each other with your partners, be careful you don’t exclude them out of habit.”  
  
TOP looked over at Daesung, who was looking back at him nervously. He tried to smile soothingly at him, but honestly he was just as nervous about being intimate in a friendly sense with a stranger.  
  
But they would have to try.  
  
He looked over at Alex, who smiled openly back at him. TOP felt his fears dissipate. _Maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult to let myself open up to him_ , TOP thought. _He seems friendly enough, and there probably won’t be as many awkward silences as I’m afraid of...._  
  
But again, it was too soon to tell.


	6. Love Hurts

“Therefore, you need to commit to each other, and not give up when things go bad,” Insu stated finally, ending their conversation.  
  
Daesung glanced between Alex and TOP. _Yeah, commitment isn’t a problem for them. They’re totally going to own this show_.  
  
He looked over at Jiyoung. The older man sported a thoughtful expression, although Daesung was sure he wasn’t thinking hard enough about Insu’s comment.  
  
Daesung thought back to when he was romantically involved with his leader.  
  
Honestly, he had hurt a bit when he and Jiyoung fooled around. He understood the relationship for what it was from the beginning, but it didn’t satisfy the longing he felt for a more solid relationship. Daesung wanted someone like a friend who he could depend on, and who would love him like a lover at the same time. Jiyoung was the closest Daesung had ever come to having both. In fact, he had been both. Just not at the same time, though.  
  
It was easier to suppress his longings so long as he didn’t have someone he was pining after. And he had been doing a good job right up to the point when TOP announced a few weeks ago that he would be participating in WGM. Almost immediately, his mind began to produce images of happy couples dating, holding hands, hugging,... and he wanted to be a part of it.  
  
So he asked TOP if he would be okay with him joining in as well.  
  
TOP’s response was a relief, “Yes! Honestly, I’m scared shitless about doing this on my own. It would be a relief to have someone to talk with when this gets out of hand. And I’m glad that someone is you,” he added.  
  
 _I suppose I am the best one for him to talk with out of all of us_ , Daesung pondered. _Jiyoung-hyung doesn’t really understand the concept of commitment, although he means well. Taeyang-hyung has the commitment thing down solid, but is absolute crap at actually talking with women, so he wouldn’t understand. And Seungri.... That kid thinks he knows women, but honestly he’s an idiot_.  
  
Daesung couldn’t claim he knew everything about women, but he had had... some experience. Once. He and Hyori had hung out for a while after Family Outing, and eventually started to date, but it never got beyond hand-holding. It was nice while it lasted.  
  
Until they broke up. He knew that what Hyori said was true, that they didn’t really seem like anything more than friends, and that no amount of sporadic dating during their constantly busy schedules would hold them together as lovers. But it hurt. Just like the end of fooling around with Jiyoung had hurt.  
  
Daesung knew that being on the show would only produce more heartache, but he was like a man stranded in the desert with only a little bit of water, and little willpower to make the supply last.  
  
He knew that what he felt the moment he and Seunggi became a couple was not love at first sight, and not quite lust. Or rather, he wasn’t jacking off to images of Seunggi yet -- emphasis on the ‘yet’. Daesung was attracted, though, and he was very tempted to not analyze the situation at all so that he could wear the proverbial rose-colored glasses once again.  
  
 _I suppose it would be a good thing if Seunggi-sshi decides not to do the show. It’ll bring me back to my senses anyway._  
  
But still, Daesung couldn’t resist pulling PD Na aside after the conversation with the gay couple.  
  
“Um, PD-nim? You said earlier that some people have dropped out and that some were thinking of not participating. I couldn’t help but notice that you were looking at me when you said that last part. Does this mean that there is a possibility that Seunggi-sshi won’t continue with the show, and I will be left without a partner?”  
  
“There is a possibility he will choose to back out of the show, yes,” Na replied carefully. “But even if he does leave, I will make sure you have a partner, if you are still willing to participate at that point.” Na looked at him questioningly, as if wanting to secure his commitment to the show, no matter the partner.  
  
 _Don’t tempt me_ , Daesung thought as he replied, “If that happens, then we’ll see...”.  
  
Na seemed satisfied with that answer for now.


	7. The List

Seunggi greeted PD Na with a hug. “So, Hyung, what devious things do you have planned for us this evening?” he asked cheekily, glancing around the hospital hall surreptitiously for any sign of hidden cameras. He didn’t believe for a moment that this wasn’t being filmed.  
  
“Nothing evil. Only informative stuff will happen,” Na replied nonchalantly. “Before we go in, though, we need to wait for the other two to arrive.”  
  
Seunggi continued to look for anything other than security cameras around. He spotted the occasional lady nurses walk by and shyly hold up their phones to snap pictures of him.  
  
After about ten minutes of waiting, Taecyeon and Kevin arrived within seconds of each other.  
  
“Thank you all for coming,” Na said as they walked into a private hallway toward a private room. “I’m grateful you are giving this show a chance.” Seunggi didn’t miss the glance Na directed his way.  
  
 _At least he’s being open to my feelings_ , Seunggi thought, grateful to realize that if he refused to participate, Na wouldn’t find it surprising or unexpected.  
  
“However, I’m sorry to inform you that Hyung Joon and Yoseob have opted to drop out of the show, so if you two” -- Na looked at Kevin and Taecyeon -- “want to continue with this show, I’m most likely going to put you two together.”  
  
Taecyeon’s expression took on a distant look, as if he weren’t really surprised by this information. Kevin, on the other hand, paled considerably. Seunggi didn’t know anyone could look like that while still being alive. The younger man looked like he was going to either faint or be sick. Seunggi’s hands twitched as if preparing to catch him if he began to fall.  
  
But Kevin didn’t need any rescuing. He swallowed heavily and took a few deep breaths, calming himself, and returned to a more alive color by the time they reached the door. Even so, Seunggi was prepared to come to the rescue if he had a sudden relapse.  
  
It wasn’t until they had all been seated around Jaehee’s bed and introduced that Seunggi realized the additional implication of Na’s comment: _Daesung was still in_. This wasn’t really surprising, but Seunggi really didn’t know what to do.  
  
When he had agreed to do the show, he had looked forward to being with a woman, attempting romantic things, falling in love a little bit. But this whole gay thing was like a splash of cold water. He felt _nothing_. Spending the afternoon with Daesung and the “in-laws” had not clued him in to how to react to the situation.  
  
The show was supposed to depict (however inaccurately) a married life. It had had happy, affectionate couples before, as well as stormy ones. Never, though, had there been a couple that was devoid of the tiniest bit of love before, and Seunggi knew that if something didn’t change in his and Daesung’s relationship quickly, they would probably be cut from the show very soon.  
  
 _If only we could get a little bit closer...._  
  
 _Well, when in doubt, ask for help._  
  
So when he got the chance, he asked Jaehee and Insu for advice. “My partner and I aren’t very close, and he seems a bit shy. If we take a normal amount of time to get closer, it won’t look like we’re married, but we’d be like roommates trying to get along. So, my question is: how would you suggest I...” -- he searched for the right word -- “‘ _court_ ’ my husband?”  
  
“Hmmm... Which one is your husband again?” Jaehee asked.  
  
“Daesung.”  
  
Jaehee squealed in delight. “ _That_ cutie pie? Oh, you should have no problem with him once you get him to open up. It’s like we told him, though: don’t force the romance, but work on cherishing each other as friends. You _do_ know how to treat friends, right?”  
  
“Of course!”  
  
“And how do you treat a friend? I ask because I’m curious to know what you think,” Insu asked.  
  
Seunggi paused to think. “Well, you treat a friend like you would treat a brother: with love and understanding. When you love them, you’d do anything to make them happy, and you’d stick by them even when things get bad. When you understand them, you’d be tolerant and considerate of their opinions, and not treat them like an outcast because they’re different.”  
  
Both men nodded. “Good answer,” Insu commented.  
  
“A very good answer,” mused Jaehee. “It’s exactly how you should treat a lover, male or female. And even though you and Daesung don’t know each other very well, that’s how you should strive to treat each other.”  
  
“But how can I show him I’m understanding if I don’t know anything about him?” Seunggi asked, still frustrated.  
  
“ _Ask_ him,” Jaehee emphasized. “Sit down with him, either on or off screen, and ask him questions. Start a discussion. You two are being put in an awkward position, I know. But you _need_ to make the time to get to know him.”  
  
In sympathy for Seunggi, Kevin chimed in, “You’ll be okay. You’ve had lots of experience meeting new people in the streets and starting up conversations. Just a few words tell a lot about a person, so having a long conversation with Daesung-sshi will tell you even more about him.”  
  
“But what if he doesn’t talk?” Seunggi asked, remembering how little he spoke when they were together.  
  
“He seems to me like someone who doesn’t often speak up in group conversations, so try getting him alone and work from there.”  
  
Seunggi nodded, a plan tentatively taking form in his head. He took out a notebook from his bag and half-listened while Kevin and Taecyeon asked other questions of the older men.  
  
Seunggi began a list of ideas of ways to get closer:  
 _1\. Get him alone. See if I can pick him up for next day of filming instead of meeting there.  
2\. Think of personal questions to ask him. Later.  
3\. Buy him dinner, lunch, breakfast? Or perhaps make him something to eat?  
4\. Say hi to him if our schedules happen to match up. Attempt conversation.  
5\. Look up fan cafes for more information on Daesung’s likes and dislikes, in case he becomes Mr. Humble during the Q&A session.  
6\. Buy him more flowers?_  
  
 _No. Too cliche. I shouldn’t even have done that last time because it made things awkward. Something less burdensome...._ Seunggi crossed that out.  
  
 _ ~~6\. Buy him more flowers?~~  
6\. Create personal coupons that are vague enough for him to call the shots, not me.  
     a. back massage?  
     b. a home cooked meal of his choice brought to him anywhere in Seoul, anytime.  
     c. a cd of self-recorded music of songs of his choice.  
     d. an all-expense paid date to any place of his choosing in Seoul.  
     e. ..._  
  
A quiet, yet juicy sniff sounded next to him. He glanced over to see that Kevin, who was sitting next to him, was reading over his shoulder. Seunggi could see the sad tension around his eyes again, and his nose was turning a bit pink from holding in tears. Seunggi looked back at his list and tried to determine what he had written that had gotten Kevin so tense.  
  
Before he could figure it out, Kevin said quietly to Seunggi, “He’s lucky to have you.” And without really interrupting the conversation, Kevin quietly excused himself for the bathroom.  
  
 _Does he wish he had gotten me and not Hyung Joon-sshi?_ thought Seunggi.  
  
He shook his head vehemently. _Nah, couldn’t be_ , he thought, turning his attention back to the list and to Jaehee and Insu.


	8. He Said No

Kevin sat on the floor in one of the bathroom stalls with a handful of toilet paper pressed to his nose. He had long since given up trying to control his tears, and contented himself to crying wholeheartedly in the hopes that he would run out of tears soon.  
  
He had to be quiet about it, though, since there were people who came in and out of the bathroom who would want to film his discomfort and release it on the internet just for kicks. Even now, he held in a hiccup as he waited for a guest or a nurse or someone to get out of the bathroom and leave him alone once again.  
  
Once the person was gone, Kevin threw the moist wad of toilet paper into the trash and noisily got a few more squares off the roll.  
  
 _That bastard_ , he thought to himself of Hyung Joon. _And to think I loved him_.  
  
 _Still love him_.  
  
He blew loudly into the paper. He thought back to the hospital room and reading over Seunggi’s shoulder. _Cook a meal for him. Get him alone outside of filming. Romantic gestures. Those were all things I had been looking forward to doing with Hyung Joon_ , Kevin thought disappointedly.  
  
 _That bastard_.  
  
He quietly coughed a sob as he remembered back to a few weeks before Kibum left U-Kiss. Back to when he thought he might actually have had a chance with Kibum’s older brother.

 

Flashback:

 _They were at a club that had been recommended to Hyung Joon by one of his SS501 band mates. Kevin knew that the trip was meant for brotherly bonding, but he couldn’t help inviting himself along. It didn’t really matter to Kibum anyway because it gave him an excuse to bring Soohyun along.  
  
Kevin remembered seeing them cuddling across the table and noticing that Hyung Joon wasn’t at all phased by it. Hyung Joon was probably so innocent that he didn’t know that his brother and Soohyun were an item. Kevin knew full well what they were doing under the table, and looked over longingly at Hyung Joon and wished they could be doing similar things under the table as well. Seeing that Hyung Joon was well on his way to being drunk, Kevin smirked to himself and began to woo the older man.  
  
He scooted over to sit closer to the man he was in love with, and plopped his head on his shoulder, pretending to be drunk.  
  
“What’re you doing?” Hyung Joon slurred, looking down at him with a pleasantly bewildered smile.  
  
“Resting my head,” stated Kevin while contemplating how to proceed.  
  
“Why my shoulder and not Soohyun’s? Kibum seems to find him comfy.”  
  
Kevin took the opportunity to brush his fingers up Hyung Joon’s sleeved arm and massage his shoulder. Hyung Joon was still. “Your shoulder is comfy, too,” Kevin breathed seductively, successfully eliciting a shiver from the older man. To Kevin’s delight, Hyung Joon shifted so his shoulder would support his head better. Absently, Kevin rested his hand lightly on Hyung Joon’s thigh.  
  
Hyung Joon reached out quickly to grab a glass. It was obvious in the way he was doing double-takes that he hadn’t expected the glass to be empty. Seeing this as another opportunity, Kevin grabbed the bottle of soju and offered to pour him some. With feigned imbalance, Kevin made sure to soak Hyung Joon’s lap a bit.  
  
Hyung Joon yelped and reached for a towel. Kevin got it sooner, and apologized profusely while he eagerly dabbed the cloth at his lap, carefully cupping his crotch. The older man weakly swatted at his hands, but was so drunk that he quickly forgot about the indecency of the situation. Kevin slowly rubbed Hyung Joon’s hardening length through his damp jeans and went back to resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. He let himself admire the bulge in Hyung Joon’s pants, then looked across the table to see if his hyungs were sufficiently distracted.  
  
They were.  
  
Kevin licked his lips and looked down again, moving his fingers closer to the zip at Hyung Joon’s crotch.  
  
A loud cackle from Kibum startled Hyung Joon out of his stupor, and alerted him to the inappropriateness of the situation. He jerked and shoved Kevin’s hand out of the way, glaring at him suspiciously as Kevin pretended to not notice. When Kevin did nothing further to him, he relaxed somewhat and threw back a few shots of soju.  
  
Unfortunately for Kevin, he didn’t get another chance to hit on the older man as there were too many distractions. Both men were thoroughly plastered by the time Kibum and Soohyun announced it was time to go. Kibum, being the responsible person in the group, was sober and thus the designated driver.  
  
Kevin didn’t remember much about the rest of the evening. His strongest memories was of waking up in the car with his head in Hyung Joon’s lap in the back seat, and being pulled onto Kibum’s back as he was taken to the Kim brothers’ apartment.  
  
The next thing he knew, he woke up in Hyung Joon’s bed, next to Hyung Joon, naked (both of them), with a really sore butt. He didn’t have to be a genius to know what he and the older man had done at some point during the night.  
  
What confidence he had gained while being drunk had long since disappeared as he rolled out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. As he showered, he experienced a bit of a panic attack. He couldn’t decide whether to be happy and proud that he finally had a non-platonic experience with his best friend’s brother, or if he should be afraid of the repercussions of said act. He pondered and deliberated what his next step should be. After he had dried up, applied plenty of lotion to his anus (which hurt like a bitch, by the way, but he wasn’t complaining), and gotten dressed, he set out to confront Hyung Joon about the situation.  
  
Except Hyung Joon was still asleep. And undressed. With thoroughly messed up hair. And looking oh so sexy....  
  
Before he could recover from the latest lust-induced daze, Kibum knocked on the door and stuck his head in. Kevin jumped and turned quickly to him, knowing he had been caught.  
  
Except he hadn’t. Kibum didn’t even glance at Hyung Joon when he said to Kevin, “All dressed? Good. It’s time to go,” before stepping back out. It was apparent to Kevin that Kibum hadn’t noticed the sex-rumpled sheets, the thoroughly (Kevin assumed) sexed-up older brother, or the heady smell of sex in the room.  
  
Kevin assumed he was lucky, but he realized later that he was extremely unlucky. He never got the chance to talk with Hyung Joon again. He didn’t know if Hyung Joon remembered anything. Did the older man even know he had sex that night, or would he assume he simply had a wet dream? And when Kibum left the group without notice three weeks later, any chance of attempting contact was gone._  
  
And now, finally he had one more chance to reconnect with Hyung Joon, and to talk with him man to man about that night, and the bastard had chickened out.  
  
Kevin felt so betrayed.  
  
A fresh wave of tears flooded over, and Kevin noisily blew his nose.  
  
The door banged open and Kevin reverted to being quiet again. He could hear two men conversing as they made their way to the urinals. One voice sounded familiar....  
  
Kevin’s eyes bugged open when he peeked through the crack in his stall door. It was Hyung Joon and Young Saeng!  
  
“Honestly, Joon-ah, aside from your brother’s objections, why are you so afraid of doing this show? From what I can tell, you like the guy, whoever he is,” Young Saeng said boldly.  
  
“ _Shhhh_!” Hyung Joon said quickly, looking around frantically. Kevin could barely make out that he was mouthing _This is a public bathroom, Hyung! There may be people here!_ To which Young Saeng gasped and looked around suspiciously.  
  
Almost on instinct, Kevin deftly sat on his toilet seat and lifted his legs up, so that when Hyung Joon ducked down to see if he could spot any feet, he wouldn’t find any. After a few long seconds of holding himself in this awkward position, he heard Hyung Joon sigh his relief and say “All clear.” Kevin let his feet rest on the floor, and he listened intently to what the two men would say.  
  
“I do like him. I like him a bit _too much_ , in fact,” Hyung Joon said in response to Young Saeng’s observation.  
  
Kevin’s heart skipped because of his words. _If he likes me so much, then why won’t he do the show with me?_ Kevin pouted.  
  
“So, what’s the problem?” Young Saeng asked, zipping up his pants and heading over to the sink.  
  
“He’s... well.... The last time we spoke was before Kibum left U-Kiss, and honestly... I couldn’t tell if he was interested in me or not.”  
  
 _Oh my God! The man I love is an idiot_ , Kevin thought, dumbfounded. _Then again, we were drunk when I confessed. Wait, did I even confess?..._  
  
“I mean, we went to a nightclub, got drunk, and we sort of... got cozy. But was he that way because he was drunk? And here’s the thing,” Hyung Joon’s voice dropped to a whisper. Kevin strained to hear. “...I don’t remember what happened after that. Kibum told me he drove us to the apartment, and Kevin stayed in my room with me while he and Soohyun went to his room. When I woke up, the three of them were gone, and I had the feeling of, erm... I think we had sex.”  
  
“Or rather, some kind of sexual experience,” he amended quickly.  
  
Young Saeng whistled softly, silently amazed by this bit of information. “Man,” he commented finally, “Your love life’s complicated!”  
  
“I know, right!” Hyung Joon exclaimed, entering panic mode. “When I asked Kibum what I had done after we got home, he just looked at me blankly and said: _‘you slept.’_ So I figured he didn’t know. And then when I asked him if Kevin’s friendliness to me was something special, he told me that Kevin was friendly and flirty with everyone!”  
  
Kevin felt his blood run cold. _So, if Hyung Joon think’s I’m “friendly” with everyone, and we did “that” during that night, then he thinks I’m a slut?_  
  
 _Oh, God. No wonder he doesn’t want to be on the show with me._  
  
Kevin was livid. On the one hand, he hated Kibum for misguiding Hyung Joon like that. On the other hand, he hated that Kibum was partially right: Kevin was rather free with his affections.  
  
Kevin’s emotions battled over whether he hated Kibum more, or felt guilty for seeming so loose more. In the end guilt won, and he had to hold the toilet paper up to his nose or else he would start sniffing again.  
  
Even so, he wanted to _kill_ Kibum.  
  
He could hear the men shuffling toward the door. The last thing he heard was Hyung Joon saying, “So I don’t know if he likes me, or if I was just one of his conquests...,” before the door opened and the two men walked out.  
  
Kevin clamped his hand to his mouth to cover up a fresh wave of sobs, even though there was no one left to listen.


	9. He Said Yes

“You like him, don’t you.” Jaehee commented as soon as they sat down.  
  
“... Pardon?” Hyung Joon responded, caught completely by surprise.  
  
“Kevin,” Jaehee said bluntly. “Do you like him or don’t you?”  
  
“He’s, er, okay,” Hyung Joon said uncertainly, looking over to Young Saeng for support. Young Saeng only looked back blankly. He looked back to Jaehee and noticed a certain glint in his eyes, as if he knew something he shouldn’t. Without meaning to, Hyung Joon snapped, “What? What are you implying? That I’m gay? No way! I like women just like any man would -.”  
  
 _Crap! What am I talking about in front of two gay men? Shut up, dumbass!_ Hyung Joon’s jaw snapped shut and an embarrassed blush blossomed over his face. He noticed Young Saeng shifting uncomfortably in his seat, and knew he’d be getting an earful from him once they were alone again.  
  
When the silence continued to surround them, Hyung Joon dared to look up at Jaehee and Insu. Insu looked predictably pissed, but Jaehee was, surprisingly, laughing quietly into his hand.  
  
“Sweetie, come here,” Jaehee chuckled, gesturing for Hyung Joon to scoot closer. Hyung Joon did so, and jumped a little when the older man scooped his hand warmly into his own. “Look. I don’t really care at the moment whether you’re in love with him or not, but I seriously dislike when people delude themselves. The real source of your conflict is the rift between your brother and U-Kiss, is it not?”  
  
 _Why am I so obvious?_  
  
Jaehee squeezed his hand gently as he waited for an answer.  
  
Hyung Joon nodded.  
  
“So exactly what are you afraid will happen if you and Kevin do this show together? Be specific, please.”  
  
Hyung Joon drew in a deep breath as he illustrated his fears. “I’m afraid Kibum will push me away because he’ll think I’ve betrayed his trust. U-Kiss -- no, NH Media, actually -- betrayed him before, and if I do this, it will be one more thing for him to mistrust. And I’m his brother. If he stops trusting me, then that means he doesn’t really have many other people to rely on. He thinks he can take care of himself, but I know he needs others. He _needs_ me.”  
  
He breathed a sigh of exasperation as he continued, “I like Kevin. He was a good friend to Kibum while they were together, and I’m sure they’d still be friends if NH hadn’t forced them apart. But I don’t... I can’t...” Hyung Joon faltered, looking at his hands.  
  
Insu spoke up and broke the awkward silence, “Don’t you think you should try, though?”  
  
“How can I? Kibum stops listening whenever I bring it up,” Hyung Joon sadly replied.  
  
Insu’s gaze softened. “He’ll listen. Younger brothers always listen, even if they only begin to do so long after you’ve told them.”  
  
His eyes took on a distant look. “My brother felt like I’d betrayed the family when I realized I was gay. But after a while, he came to accept me for what I was.”  
  
Insu looked back at Hyung Joon. “You have a choice. You can delay in resolving your brother’s forgiveness and trust issues by letting him live in denial for the rest of your life. _Or_ you can tell him your feelings and let him heal sooner. I would recommend the latter, by the way. It’s a long and somewhat painful process, but the results are worthwhile,” Insu encouraged.  
  
The door to the room slid open at that moment and PD Na entered the room. Jaehee and Insu looked at him expectantly.  
  
“Kevin won’t be coming back today,” Na said matter-of-factly. “It seems he wasn’t feeling well, so he had to leave early.”  
  
“Wait. Kevin?” Hyung Joon asked, thoroughly confused.  
  
“Yeah, he was here an hour ago with Lee Seunggi-sshi and Ok Taecyeon-sshi,” Jaehee answered with a very piercing stare. “He stepped out of our group conversation after a little while to go to the bathroom. He hadn’t returned after half an hour, so that’s when we sent Na-hyung out to look for him.”  
  
Hyung Joon felt the pit of his stomach drop. _The bathroom. Oh crap._  
  
Young Saeng spoke up for the first time, with the same thoughts as Hyung Joon, “The bathroom? Which bathroom was he in, may I ask?”  
  
Na responded nonchalantly, “The one across the hall, why?”  
  
Young Saeng and Hyung Joon looked at each other and simultaneously stood up. “There’s something we need to -” Hyung Joon began.  
  
“- do,” Young Saeng finished. He bowed politely to everyone in the room. “We need to get going, I’m sorry.” Without waiting for Hyung Joon to finish his farewells, he dragged the younger man out of the room.  
  
Na’s mouth opened and closed in surprise as they made their way out the door. He looked to the other men as if to ask if he should bring them back or not.  
  
“Don’t bother,” Jaehee said. “I’d bet you 50,000 won you’ve got the Joonvin couple back on the show.”  
  
Na narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure? You’re absolutely sure I don’t have to do anything more to convince him to come back?”  
  
“I’m positive,” Jaehee assured him. “The guy’s smitten with Kevin, I’ve no doubt about that.”  
  
“Oh? And how much would you be willing to bet on _that_?” Insu asked testily.  
  
“Everything,” responded Jaehee seriously.  
  
Insu knew better than to doubt him.  
  
\----------------------------------------  
  
It took only a few calls to find out that Kevin was at the Music Bank filming studio. Fortunately for Hyung Joon, he wouldn’t have to go through a tricky process of obtaining a backstage pass since Kyu Jong was there also, and could easily give him a guest pass.  
  
“Sorry, Hyung. I can’t talk right now,” Hyung Joon said to Kyu Jong as he pinned the visitor’s badge on himself and hurried down the main corridor.  
  
If anything, Kyu Jong looked offended. Pouting, Kyu Jong looked to Young Saeng for an answer. “Was it something I said?”  
  
Young Saeng smiled and patted his shoulder, “I’ll tell you inside your dressing room. Hyung Joon’s current condition has nothing to do with you.”  
  
\----------------------------------------  
  
 _Damn these places for being so confusing. Or rather, damn me for not being able to read maps well_ , Hyung Joon thought as he stared at a map on the wall and glanced back at a sheet of dressing-room designations he had found left carelessly in a recreation room. Once he thought he had gotten his bearings again, he turned down another hall...  
  
... And promptly got lost again.  
  
“Looking for something?” a voice asked coldly from behind him.  
  
Hyung Joon whipped around and was faced with the rather intimidating figure of Soohyun leaning nonchalantly against the vending machine he had just passed. Something in his eyes, though, suggested to Hyung Joon that he wasn’t in a good mood.  
  
 _If Kevin really did hear what I had said, and then relayed it to his friends, it’s no wonder Soohyun is mad at me._  
  
Straightening his back and gathering his courage, he responded to Soohyun’s earlier question with, “I _am_ looking for something, actually. Er, someone, I should say. Is Kevin around? May I talk with him?”  
  
The air was filled with tense silence as Hyung Joon waited while Soohyun struggled to answer him. He looked like he wanted to punch Hyung Joon, but fortunately for the older man, Soohyun controlled himself. “He’s in the dressing room,” he gritted out, finally.  
  
“And where is that?” Hyung Joon asked hoarsely. He cleared his throat in embarrassment.  
  
Soohyun jerked his head to the right, “Down the hall, take the first left, third door down on the right.”  
  
Hyung Joon bowed hesitantly and eased away. He could feel Soohyun’s eyes boring into his back even as he turned the corner.  
  
Dongho was at the door and spotted Hyung Joon. His eyes widened when he saw the older man, and he quickly stepped inside. By the time Hyung Joon reached the door, Dongho had stepped out again.  
  
“He’ll be with you shortly, er, s-sunbaenim,” U-Kiss’s maknae informed him, stepping away to leave him alone.  
  
Hyung Joon’s heart sank as his partner stepped out timidly a few minutes later. The younger man was stunning in his stage clothes and with well placed hair, but no amount of makeup could hide the redness that was evident in his eyes. He could see those eyes glittering with the possibility of more tears as Kevin stood before him. Kevin crossed his arms protectively in front of himself, waiting for Hyung Joon to speak.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Hyung Joon began. “I-,” he faltered, his mind suddenly going blank. He had no idea how to proceed.  
  
Kevin pursed his lips, obviously irritated. “I’m _not_ a slut,” he said bluntly. “That was the first time for me, and the only time.”  
  
Hyung Joon blushed a deep shade of red. “I’m sorry,” he stuttered again, bowing deeply this time. “It was my first time, as well,” he mumbled, not feeling he should be allowed to give excuses for making Kevin feel bad.  
  
Kevin’s face softened slightly. He suddenly looked awkward and looked away from the older man as his face flushed as well.  
  
Hyung Joon could feel the rest of his courage quickly running away, and he caught feebly at the remains as he blurted, “I like you!” His hands shook as he reached inside his pocket.  
  
“I like you a lot,” he reaffirmed when Kevin’s eyes snapped back to him, uncertain.  
  
Kevin’s eyes widened in surprise as Hyung Joon got down on one knee, and pulled out...  
  
... a lollipop ring.  
  
Hyung Joon took a deep breath and willed his voice not to break when he asked, “Kevin-ah, will you marry me?”  
  
There was a moment’s pause when no one moved and Hyung Joon’s gut clenched in fear of Kevin’s probable rejection of his feelings. But then a slow, timid smile overtook Kevin’s features. Hyung Joon held out the ring more confidently.  
  
Kevin didn’t actually say yes. Nor did he nod his head. He just held out his left hand for Hyung Joon to slip the ring on.  
  
Dongho chose that moment to walk by and snap a photo of them on his hand phone. Startled out of his daze, Kevin chased after the maknae without thought and wrestled with him.  
  
“No! Don’t you dare post that on Twitter, Dongho-yah!” Kevin shouted desperately as Dongho expertly evaded his grip. Giggling maniacally, Dongho ran into the dressing room and shut the door in Kevin’s face.  
  
Hyung Joon’s reaction was much slower, and he didn’t really act until Kevin began pounding on the door. Worried that people might step into the otherwise empty corridor to see what all the commotion was about, he decided to try and quiet his partner down.  
  
In his mind, he thought of shaking Kevin’s shoulder and telling him sensibly to calm down. Instead, his body decided to pull the younger man away from the door and into his arms.  
  
... Which led to Kevin starting in surprise, whipping his head around in reaction, and landing an unplanned kiss on Hyung Joon’s lips. This last action would have been rather romantic on its own, but the fact that both of their mouths had been slightly open upon impact made the experience unbearably erotic for Hyung Joon. Unable to think of what to do -- let alone think at all -- he just stood there trying to make sense of the hot, moist skin of lips on his own and the wide, mesmerizing eyes staring back at him.  
  
Nonetheless, it was Hyung Joon who stepped back from the inadvertent kiss. In a desperate attempt to get away smoothly, he quickly said, “See you later for filming!” before turning around and briskly walking away.  
  
It was a shame he didn’t face Kevin for a moment longer, because he ended up missing the huge, ecstatic smile that overtook the younger man’s face.  
  
\------------------------------------------  
  
 _K-Chk!_  
  
Kevin turned to face the erstwhile maknae who had dared to open the door for more pictures. With lightning-quick reflexes, he stopped the door from closing in his face again. Dongho squealed as Kevin forced his way in and captured him in a headlock.  
  
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again! _Please don’t hurt meeeeee_!” Dongho pleaded, knowing full well that he should be intimidated by Kevin despite his gentle looks.  
  
Kevin let go, but made sure to grab Dongho’s phone before the younger man could regain control over the situation. Dongho protested, but did not try to pester Kevin again when the older man’s glare turned his way.  
  
Kevin flipped through the pictures in leisure, forwarding the ones he liked to his own phone and deleting them from Dongho’s phone afterward.  
  
“Hyung-nim?” said the maknae in a timid, pitiable voice. Kevin looked over to see the younger man giving him puppy-dog eyes. “Can’t I post at least _one_ picture? _Pleeeeeease_?”  
  
Kevin sniffed disdainfully and finished deleting Dongho’s pictures. He noted somewhat sadly that of all the moments, Dongho had missed capturing the kiss.  
  
He tossed the phone back to Dongho and posed, left hand splayed next to his face so the big candy ring showed.  
  
“Take my picture?” Kevin asked Dongho, whose face brightened at the request. Kevin allowed the boy to take a few shots in various places in the room until they had found the best lighting. Then, he gave Dongho permission to post it on Twitter with the caption: _Hyung’s engaged! Who’s the special person? I wonder..._  
  
 _The fans will have a ball with that one, I’ll bet_ , thought Kevin. _They’ll think it’s just a joke, though, given the fact that it’s a cheap, lollipop ring._  
  
A lollipop ring... Kevin looked at the one he wore and thought fondly back to when Kibum was still in the group. Whenever he would visit his brother, Hyung Joon would bring everyone candy, and he always handed Kevin the lollipop rings. Kevin never understood before why he was the one who always got the rings, but it delighted him nonetheless.  
  
Kevin had a habit of keeping the plastic rings once he finished eating the candy. It was a silly thing to do, he knew, but he figured littering his wall artistically with items his crush had given him would be far less embarrassing than putting up posters of the man everywhere. That way, if a camera crew _did_ invade his home someday, no one but his close friends and crush would be able to discern his unhealthy obsession just by looking at the rings.  
  
He licked tentatively at the candy and contemplated what he would do with it once he was finished. This one was special, since it was his engagement ring.  
  
He flipped through the pictures on his phone once again, stopping when he got to the proposal picture.  
  
He smiled. _Man, it’s so obvious I’m in love._  
  
He switched to the notebook application on his phone and began his list.  
  
 _1\. Take first ring off of the wall and personalize it with my engagement ring.  
2\. Get Hyung Joon-hyung to kiss me again.  
3\. ...._


	10. A Time for Discourse: G.O. and Juri's Visit

G.O. began hesitantly, “It’s nice to meet you all,” he nodded once more to the gay couple, “and I’m sure your advice is very useful and whatnot, but I don’t really understand why we would need to speak with you about this. I mean, I’m in a heterosexual relationship, so what does gay life have to do with my life?”  
  
“I’m afraid it has everything to do with your life,” Na said. “You are on a show with a bunch of other couples who are pretending to be gay. This show is _supposed_ to reflect reality, although even _I_ would admit that this reality is very skewed.  
  
“Every gay person interacts with heterosexual people,” Na continued philosophically. “And every heterosexual person knows a few gay people, but are not necessarily aware of their homosexuality. We all live in a world where being gay is generally considered a sin. For the most part, gay people find they have to hide their true identities in public so that they may live a comfortable life. If they do reveal themselves, then they most likely will have to face rejection from their friends, family, and colleagues. As you can imagine, those rejections may come in the form of verbally or physically violent actions.  
  
“This information pertains to _you_ because you may actually be acquainted with a gay person, and how you treat them, or how you treat the subject of being gay, directly affects how much they trust you with their secret. Or how much they trust you with their lives, in some cases.  
  
“The purpose of this season of the show is to get the public to at least think about the gay people within our own country. We’d like for the show to reflect positively upon the gay community, but in all likelihood there will have to be a _lot_ of arguments and discussions before people will begin to see this as a normal way of living.  
  
“We’re _trying_ to soften the blow to everyone’s consciousness by showing that being gay doesn’t mean a person is following a completely alien way of life in terms of love, but that their concept of love is almost identical to a heterosexual concept of love. There’s only that one difference called sexuality.”  
  
“Soooo, you expect us to support gay life?” G.O. asked diplomatically, but with an edge of incredulity as well.  
  
Na smiled grimly. “No. Ideally, I hope you two would be a little bit compassionate, but I understand that there are two sides to every story, and it would be rather unrealistic if there weren’t people who disagreed with all this on the show.”  
  
Na spoke the next part carefully, obviously trying to be considerate of the younger man’s feelings, “I understand that we’re asking quite a lot of you two, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to pull out of the show right now. But I would appreciate it if you would give it a lot of careful and... _compassionate_ consideration.”  
  
Na could see that G.O. was definitely not comfortable with the situation. But Juri, on the other hand, seemed surprisingly undisturbed.  
  
“PD-nim, why are there no lesbian couples on the show? Is this all supposed to be in support of only men?” Juri questioned after a long silence.  
  
“No,” Na replied, relieved to be answering a question for someone who wasn’t nearly as hostile as G.O. might be. “I would have liked to have a lesbian couple on the show, but we -- myself, the scriptwriters, the producers, and all of the entertainment companies I spoke with -- decided that would be a far more dangerous thing to do than with homosexual men. Unfortunately, in this world, it is easier to take advantage of lesbians and inflict lasting harm than it is with gay men. While we are prepared to help out the men on this show, we just don’t have the resources to protect women from misogynistic beliefs, ironically enough.”  
  
Na’s eyes took on an intense expression as he warned, “In fact, if you -- _either_ of you -- get caught in a situation where you’re being attacked for this, verbally or physically, I expect you to let me know immediately. It is _my_ responsibility to make sure you’re safe, since essentially it’s me who’s putting you in a potentially dangerous position. If you want to continue with this show, that is.”  
  
G.O. and Juri sat in overwhelmed silence for a long time until Juri commented quietly, “Is it really like this all the time? Like a battle, I mean.”  
  
Almost comically, Na, Insu, and Jaehee jerked back and noticed how stern, serious, and intimidating their own facial expressions had become. Jaehee chuckled awkwardly, rubbing his fingers between his eyebrows to release the tension that had developed over the course of the conversation. Insu’s expression remained stressed, but his voice was soft when he replied, “Unfortunately, yes.” His eyes shifted sadly over to Jaehee as he said softly, “You never can predict when someone will become hostile because of something you consider to be precious.”  
  
Jaehee smiled sadly and tried to lighten the conversation. “Don’t worry, dear,” he said to Juri, patting her hand soothingly because she looked so concerned. “The love we have for each other is worth the risks of everyone else hating us.”  
  
Juri did _not_ look soothed.


	11. Lovers' Quarrel

After their meeting at the hospital, Juri and G.O. drove away together in silence. Within ten minutes of driving, Juri pulled in to a park.  
  
“What are you doing?” G.O. asked, thoroughly confused.  
  
Juri unbuckled her seat belt and said lightly, “You don’t have to be back at the studio for another hour, right? In that case, let’s go for a walk, hm?” Without waiting for an answer, she stepped out.  
  
G.O. followed after her in silence, pulling his scarf over his mouth and nose as a disguise in case anyone there recognized them. It didn’t take him long to realize that there were mostly old people there, though, and they were less likely to recognize them anyway.  
  
He caught up to her and took her hand. Finally, she spoke to him, with a surprising amount of nervousness for such a bold woman, “I still want to do this show.”  
  
G.O. pursed his lips and responded with a firm and definite, “No.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because it isn’t right.”  
  
“What isn’t?”  
  
“Being gay. I won’t support a show that encourages it.”  
  
“You don’t have to _encourage it_ ,” Juri said in all seriousness. “It’s like Na PD-nim said, reality just isn’t reality unless both sides of the issue are presented.”  
  
“He can find a different couple, then,” he gritted out, obviously getting annoyed.  
  
Not one to back down from an argument, especially not with her own boyfriend, she said with more conviction, “Fine, but I’ll have you know, I _will_ agree if he asks me to be an MC.”  
  
G.O.’s head snapped in her direction. His eyes glared at her with a hint of fear.  
  
“Why?” he asked, whether in anger or fear, she didn’t know.  
  
“I don’t _really_ know if being gay is wrong. Love is love, and the wrong thing to do would be to limit it. So, there _is_ a possibility that _we_ are wrong for thinking homosexuality is wrong,” she stated thoughtfully.  
  
When he continued to stare at her, she sighed and said, “Look, it scares me, too.    And, okay, I’ll admit it: I also feel uncomfortable around gay people. Especially lesbians. I never know if one will hit on me.”  
  
Completely distracted, G.O. asked, “Have you ever been hit on by a woman?”  
  
“Yes,” Juri said uncomfortably. “When I was in the U.S. visiting a friend.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“I was so surprised. The only thing I could think of to say when she asked me over to her place was _‘No thanks. I... need to go now.’_ and I left! It was so awkward!”  
  
G.O.’s brow wrinkled in confusion, “Why do you say it’s okay, then? You obviously don’t like it.”  
  
“The friend I visited was a lesbian,” she informed him. “I found that out when I told her what had happened. She explained a few things to me, and earnestly asked me not to hold a grudge against the woman who had spoken to me.”  
  
Juri thought back to that moment in time. If she hadn’t known her childhood friend as well as she did then, she knew she would have easily written her off because she was a lesbian. As it was, though, she was never able to look at her friend without seeing the pure, innocent soul that she had. Juri didn’t know very many pure people, and to her, a person who was pure was as perfect as a person could be. The fact that her friend appeared that pure was reason enough for Juri to believe that maybe, just _maybe_ , homosexuality was okay.  
  
It was still a major conflict for her, even today. But when all was said and done, she was more afraid _for_ her friend than _of_ her.  
  
“Why did you associate with her, then? There’s no need to be friends with those kinds of people.”  
  
Juri’s resulting laugh was one of bafflement. She turned on him. “So, what, you’d be able to turn your back if one of _your_ band mates was gay?”  
  
“Y-yes. _Maybe_ ,” G.O. said without much conviction. Then, more boldly, “But there’s no need to do that. Why would there be? None of them are gay.”  
  
“Do you know that? Are you _one hundred percent sure_ of that?” Juri pressed. “I’ve known my friend since I was five, and I had _no clue_ she was a lesbian. I still would not have known she was a lesbian except for that incident.”  
  
Juri’s whole body was shaking, and only now did she realize why. Standing up for her friend in front of the man she loved, cherished, and respected was almost as dangerous a situation as with someone admitting their homosexuality. The terror of knowing that voicing your opinion could mark the difference between whether you are accepted or rejected was overwhelming, and Juri was experiencing that fear right now.  
  
 _I’ve come this far, do I dare ask the next question?_  
  
She didn’t know how this particular question had come to be, but it was mostly due to the incident with her friend. She had pondered it from time to time until now. Ever since last week’s filming session, the question plagued her mind.  
  
“G.O.-gun,” she said hesitantly, her fear permeating her voice. “What if-,” her voice broke and she had to clear her throat. “What if we were to have kids someday, and one of them turned out to be gay? How would we deal with it?”  
  
He looked at her incredulously. “There’s no way one of _my_ kids would be gay. No way,” he said. “I wouldn’t raise them to be like that, so it would be impossible for them to be gay.”  
  
Juri felt herself becoming angry. “Parents can only control so much of a child’s thoughts. There are some things that even the most skillful parents can’t achieve, and repelling their child’s homosexuality is one of them,” she gritted out. Speaking in a caustic manner now, she ranted, “In the end, after all of your “ _raising_ ,” if we still have a child who is gay, will you accept it and stand by their side, or will you reject them because you can’t stand what they’ve become?”  
  
“I’m not saying I’d turn my back on them, I’m just saying that it’s impossible that they’d be that way in the first place,” he replied, exasperated.  
  
She gave up and walked away. “Noona? _Noona!_ ” G.O. called after her.  
  
She didn’t turn back to him. He didn’t follow. When she eventually got back to her car three hours later, she assumed he had found some other means of transportation.

So she drove home alone.


	12. The Ice Princess and Her Dragon

When G.O. is upset and knows that he has done something not quite right, and he’s not sure if it’s wrong either, he doesn’t go to alcohol. Nor does he go to his similar-aged friends. If he is truly disturbed, and needs to clear his head while dealing with his problems, he visits Dayoung.  
  
G.O. has long been aware of the fact that children tend to be more understanding than adults give them credit for. He assumes it’s because they have been less exposed to the crap that the world throws around, and therefore their judgement is less confused than adults’. Kids also tend to have the simplest, yet the most profound answers to the questions that throw even the most reasonable adult off track.  
  
G.O. had a question that was throwing him completely off track. He was being thrown into a situation that had merely seemed like innocent fan-service in one moment, and a call to arms in the next. He had an honest to goodness argument with his girlfriend. He’d had those before, but they were never like this. Never so sensitive. Usually they could find some middle ground almost immediately, and usually it was Juri who was the hot-headed one who eventually saw G.O.’s reasoning and accepted that.  
  
But now, he had thrown words at her that hurt her. He saw it do its damage as soon as it hit. This time, he knew it wasn’t just some meaningless argument that could be smoothed over with calm reasoning. This time, the subject was so sensitive, and something that really meant a lot to her, that she could be seriously hurt by him if he wasn’t careful.  
  
Because he was just as confused as she was, if not more so. And his confusion could do more harm than carelessness could.  
  
Until now, he had been told indirectly by friends, parents, the media,... that being gay was wrong, that gay people were clinically insane, that a person who isn’t gay could not possibly understand gay people, etc. But now, there were all these complications, all of these exceptions to the rules he had been taught.  
  
Were the things he had been taught true? Or were they things that history and tradition had thrown upon him to make him believe they were true?  
  
G.O. didn’t know. So he went to ask a person who could help him clear his mind.  
  
“G.O. appa!!!” shouted the adorable seven year old as she leapt into his open arms. He greeted her with a happy grin, and bowed politely to her parents. They waved from the dining table where they were doing various household paperwork. Customary greetings aside, G.O. and Dayoung made their way to her playroom, where they proceeded to have fun with her dolls and toys.  
  
Whenever G.O. came to her with a problem, he always felt a little bit guilty about butting into her youthful life with worries he felt strongly that she could do without. So instead of telling her all of the potentially harmful information, he tried to create a fictional story in which she was also the storyteller.  
  
Which was why he was currently wore a blanket as a cape around his shoulders, had a small, pink bicycle helmet on his head in lieu of a knight’s helmet, and a wand in place of a sword. Dayoung wore a princess outfit and was perched on her bed, listening intently to his story.  
  
“And then the brave knight proclaimed, ‘Oh, fair ice princess, I am here to rescue you from this tower, and take you home to your kingdom,’” dictated “Sir G.O.” with a flourish of his sword and a salute.  
  
“So the knight fought with the dragon,” said G.O. while swinging the wand around fighting off an imaginary dragon, which represented his struggle against what the show was trying to make him do, “and locked it in the dungeon because he was not strong enough to kill it."  
  
“Then he climbed the stairs of the tower,” -- he climbed onto the bed -- “took the beautiful princess in his arms,” -- he gave Dayoung a hug -- “and they rode away on his white horse back to her kingdom,” he lifted her up and swung her around.  
  
“But what about the dragon?” she asked when they had finally stopped twirling and were sitting on her floor.  
  
“It’s locked in the dungeon of its own tower.”  
  
“But can’t it get out?”  
  
G.O. thought. “It could get out, but it would need help.” He thought of Na and his struggles to get his potentially hazardous message out to the world.  
  
“Won’t it get lonely?”  
  
He looked at her in surprise. He hadn’t expected that question. Bewildered, he answered, “I... suppose so.”  
  
“Then why don’t we send someone to keep it company?” Dayoung suggested.  
  
“Because it’s evil and would hurt them.”  
  
“Why is it evil?”  
  
“Dragons _are_ evil. They’re all like that,” he said as if it were obvious.  
  
Dayoung pouted and twisted away, reaching over to a stuffed dragon perched on her night stand. She held it up to him, and stated, “Smoky’s a dragon, and _he’s_ not evil.”  
  
G.O. smiled indulgently and patted the dragon on the head to placate her. “Okay, your dragon isn’t evil, but others are.”  
  
“But how do you know that?” Dayoung argued. “What did this dragon do that was so awful?”  
  
“It captured you and locked you in the tower.”  
  
“Because it was lonely!”  
  
“Lonely?” G.O. asked.  
  
“Yeah,” she said, looking seriously at her Smoky. She took the story into her own hands and said, “Maybe the dragon kidnapped me because it was lonely, and no one would visit because they were so scared of it.”  
  
 _Was it the dragon’s fault for being bad, or was it bad only because society told it it was so?_ , thought G.O. _Was being gay really that awful, or was it just a long-told rumor that it was bad?_  
  
“But it tried to burn down a village,” G.O. continued to argue. “It did bad things.”  
  
“Maybe it does bad things because no one will give it a chance to be good,” said Dayoung meekly.  
  
 _Had this ever been given the chance to “be good”?_  
  
“But what if we give it a chance, and it decides to hurt everyone anyway?” G.O. asked carefully.  
  
“Then we show it how good is supposed to be done, and give it another chance,” she stated definitively. Then she looked at him with a serious expression. “How can it be nice to us if we aren’t nice to it?”  
  
G.O. could find no argument with that.  
  
\-------------------------------------------------  
  
When he returned back to MBLAQ’s dorm that afternoon, he called Juri, to ask a question that he hadn’t asked Dayoung because she wouldn’t have been able to answer.  
  
“Hello. Are you done being a jerk?”, was the first thing she said as she answered the phone.  
  
G.O. tensed, but knew that getting riled up would not bring about constructive results. So he said, “Maybe.”  
  
She sighed. “Sorry. That was rude of me. What was it you wanted to say?”  
  
G.O. thought for a moment before carefully asking, “Why did you ask about the children? What did you want me to say?”  
  
There was silence at the other end of the line for so long, G.O. was sure she had hung up. But then she started speaking. Slowly.  
  
“I’ve told you about my dad. He’s not the best dad out there, as you know. But he stuck with me even though I was, and still am, a brat. I’m sure that if I had broken the law or done something equally bad, he would have stuck by me. Because it is his job to protect me. Even if he can’t keep me from falling, he can at least be there to mend me when I’ve hit the bottom."  
  
“Like I said before, I don’t know if being gay is good or bad,” she continued. “But if I were to have kids someday, and one of them happened to be gay, I wouldn’t want to abandon them. Even if I can’t protect them from themselves, I want to be there for them so I can mend them if they need it. And if I had this sort of child someday who needs my help, I’d like to do it with someone by my side. I was hoping it would be you, but if you are the sort of person who would disown a child for being an “abomination to society”, then that’s just as bad as disowning me.”  
  
G.O. pinched the bridge of his nose, getting a headache. “And if I do something stupid because I’m confused, will you mend me as well?”  
  
Juri was smart enough to realize this was his way of asking for forgiveness... and understanding. “Just so long as you admit your mistakes when you realize them and sugar-coat your apologies with kisses, I’ll mend you,” she teased.  
  
G.O. kissed the mouthpiece on his phone loudly enough for her to hear. She giggled.  
  
“Okay,” he said, absolutely terrified of what they were going to do. “Let’s do this. Let’s do the show.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I feel I should mention this, since I seem to have forgotten to do this earlier in the story: this entire story takes place a few years in the future. Let’s say... oh... in 2015? It’s artistic license, okay? Just go with it. For me? Pretty please?
> 
> Also, for those of you who aren’t aware of this: Dayoung is one of the children on Hello Baby with MBLAQ.


	13. Yeobo, Yeobo... Surely You Jest

As was usual for him after dance practice, Yoseob was draped over one of the benches in the rec room, exhausted. People passed by in front of him, ignoring him for the most part.  
  
Except for some annoying person currently trying to lie down on top of him.  
  
“ _Uuuuuuuuugh_!” he complained, his face smushing uncomfortably into the bench when the person’s head rested on top of his.  
  
“Oh, whoops. Sorry. I didn’t see you there,” the person mocked, sitting up and nudging him to make room. Reluctantly, Yoseob sat up and let G.O. sit down.  
  
“So, how’s life? You seemed a bit down lately, so I felt I should ask,” G.O. explained.  
  
“Tch, speak for yourself,” Yoseob scoffed tiredly. “You seemed okay on the day of filming, and even a few days after that. Now you’re like a walking zombie.”  
  
“Mm,” G.O. agreed noncommittally. “A lot of things have been on my mind lately.”  
  
“What things?” Yoseob asked, not wanting to have the conversation redirect itself back to him.  
  
“Well, the show, specifically. When I went to visit PD Na and his friends, I found out exactly what was expected of me. I’m glad he told me, though. Otherwise, I think I would have been going into a trap unprepared.”  
  
Yoseob lifted his head from the wall in interest. “You’re still going to do the show, knowing all that?”  
  
G.O. shifted awkwardly. “Yeah, well, I have my reasons,” he muttered.  
  
Yoseob lifted an eyebrow, but knew better than to push. “So, what things did you all talk about at that meeting?” he asked, curious despite himself. He had been rather vehement in his refusal when Kikwang and Doojoon tried to get him to agree to go to the meeting.  
  
“Na PD-nim is trying to make the show something that will help the public feel more... positively about the concept of homosexuality. Or to accept it, at least. I don’t really understand how he’ll do it, though. Anyhow, I had mistakenly thought this was just going to be a bunch of fan-service, and nothing so deep as this.”  
  
Rain entered the room just then and plopped himself down on the bench to the other side of Yoseob. “What are you two talking about?” he asked, although it was apparent from the way he said it that he had overheard a little bit of the conversation already.  
  
G.O. explained the situation once again, and Rain responded with, “Perhaps you weren’t too far from the point.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“From the way you describe it, Na PD-nim is making this an epic thing. But do you suppose he was actually hoping for the cast members to make it _seem_ like fan-service, so the subject itself is more approachable to the viewers?”  
  
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” G.O. stated.  
  
“Hmmm...,” Rain thought for a moment. Then he said, “Have you ever heard of the English phrase ‘ _Half in jest, all in earnest_ ’?”  
  
Both younger men nodded.  
  
“It’s something that can be used to bring up a serious issue in a less burdensome light. For example, if you bring it up lightheartedly, and talk about all of the things in a cheerful, slightly joking manner, people watching you can take it all as a joke if they’re uncomfortable thinking about it seriously. But that lighthearted manner is what leads them to thinking about the subject in a more laid-back, comfortable way so it doesn’t look so offensive.”  
  
“Korean media uses the “jesting” tactic often to bring up awkward subjects. If the person being interviewed is made uncomfortable with a question, then the interviewer will turn it into a joke so that neither interviewer nor interviewee will lose face. It _is_ possible to jest too much and be offensive, but you’ve been in showbiz for a while now, so you already know how far is too far. You shouldn’t have a problem.”  
  
“Perhaps Na wishes for the crew to utilize the fan-service as a jest to the public, so that they might be willing to consider the earnest possibilities, and so that both the viewers and the gay community may save face.”  
  
Rain spotted Lee Joon across the way. “I’ll give you an example,” he suggested, and called to him in a sing-song voice, “Oi Yeobo! Care to come here and sit on your hyung’s lap?”  
  
Lee Joon’s head whipped to face him, and he grinned when he saw who it was. He ran over and ungracefully landed on Rain’s lap, causing the older man to wince in pain.  
  
“Ugh, have you been gaining weight?” Rain quipped, poking Lee Joon’s hip and making him squirm uncomfortably for both of them.  
  
“Awwww, hyung. I love you, too,” Lee Joon mocked, hugging Rain’s head so close he was almost choking the older man.  
  
After a bit more horse-play and mock-flirting, Rain managed to get Lee Joon to calm down and he returned to the subject at hand. “What I just did was an example of the ‘half in jest, all in earnest’ idea.”  
  
“You made flirting with Joon-hyung look like a joke to cover up for the fact that you’re so completely in love with him?” Yoseob guessed.  
  
“ _What_?” Lee Joon squawked, suddenly uncomfortable with sitting on Rain’s lap.  
  
“No, no, _no_ ,” Rain said to Yoseob, while simultaneously holding a struggling Lee Joon to his lap. “If I were in love with him, then you would be right about that. I was actually ‘jesting’ about something else.”  
  
G.O. suddenly smirked, apparently understanding to what Rain was referring. “You joked about our Joonie’s weight in the hopes that he would take it as a joke from you, but would seriously consider it later on his own terms?” he guessed.  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
“ _Hey_! I’m not fat!” Lee Joon pouted.  
  
“Uh huh. _Right_. Now get off my legs, you weigh a ton,” Rain mocked, finally pushing him away.  
  
“I’m not heavy, _Yeobo_ ,” Lee Joon shot back in the sickly sweet tone he had managed to irritate Rain with years ago on "Happy Together". He stuck his tongue out as he stomped away.  
  
Rain was not made upset by that anymore. Now, he simply chuckled at Lee Joon’s childishness.  
  
“I should probably go make sure he’s not throwing a hissy-fit,” G.O. said, excusing himself. “Thanks for the talk, hyung!”  
  
The two men left behind sat calmly for a few moments before Rain asked, “So what’s the reason why you won’t do the show?”  
  
Yoseob sighed. “It’s not that I don’t think the show could do a lot of good. I just don’t feel like being the poster-boy for it.”  
  
“Mm.”  
  
“I know people who feel more strongly about this than me, and it seems sort of... silly to risk angering other people by taking on the responsibility for an issue that I don’t fully understand or feel I have a part of. I don’t really feel suited to the task.”  
  
Rain nodded. He patted Yoseob’s knee as he stood up, stretching. “It’s good that you are aware of your potential weaknesses and limitations. Just don’t let it get the better of you, though. Okay?”  
  
Yoseob nodded obediently, but still not feeling any better.  
  
\---------------------------------  
  
Kikwang flopped onto the bunk beside Yoseob’s, making himself comfortable. “So, what’s up?”  
  
“Ugh!” Yoseob rolled to his side facing away from Kikwang. “Why does everyone want to know about it?”  
  
“Dude, you’ve been a bit off lately. You haven’t been eating right, you toss and turn in your bed -- don’t deny it, I can feel your every movement from the bottom bunk -- your dancing is a bit... _meh_ , and you’ve been avoiding talking about anything of depth with everyone, especially me.”  
  
Yoseob whimpered. “Why am I so obvious?”  
  
Kikwang wiggled over and spooned Yoseob, resting his head on his shoulder. Yoseob turned his head into his pillow when Kikwang attempted to look at his face.  
  
“Seobie?” Kikwang said in a soft voice. “You avoided me like this when I admitted I had feelings for you.” Kikwang could feel Yoseob attempt to be smaller, which was not working. “I know you’ve felt like you let me down for not returning my feelings, and like our friendship wouldn’t be the same. But it worked out, didn’t it? We’re still friends. And I don’t like you in ‘ _that_ ’ way anymore.” He did the ‘finger of God’ on Yoseob’s butt just to mess with him.  
  
Yoseob yelped and sat up, glaring at his friend. “ _Kiki_!” he scolded, laughing nonetheless. Kikwang just smiled cheekily at him, which earned him a few indignant pokes from Yoseob in ticklish spots.  
  
When they settled down again, Kikwang continued to prod, “You’ve been avoiding me, Seobie. And it seems like you feel guilty about something concerning me. If it has something to do with me, then I deserve to know, right?”  
  
Yoseob voiced what could only be described as an apologetic gurgle as he curled up into Kikwang, with his head resting on the younger man’s stomach.  
  
He sighed again.  
  
“Seobie?” Kikwang nudged, patting his back.  
  
Finally, Yoseob asked, “Am I being a coward? For not doing the show, I mean.”  
  
“No, you’re being very sensible. The show is putting you in an uncomfortable position, so you have every right to say no.”  
  
“But I’m your _friend_. Friends are supposed to stand up for what friends believe in,” Yoseob countered. He straightened up and looked at Kikwang lying next to him. “I have the perfect opportunity to do something that could eventually have a positive impact on your life. You shouldn’t have to hide who you are just because of who you love.”  
  
Kikwang’s eyes squinted into crescents because of his smile. “ _Aaaaooowwww_! Seobie! You’re so _cuuute_ ,” Kikwang squealed, throwing his leg over Yoseob and pulling him into a suffocating hug. He nuzzled his friend as he said, “You don’t have to prove anything to me. I know you love me, and your acceptance of me is enough. I don’t need you to fight the world in my honor.”  
  
“You sure?” Yoseob asked, his voice muffled by Kikwang’s shoulder.  
  
“Absolutely. Now stop avoiding me, pabo!”  
  
“You can stop avoiding him later,” Doojoon brusquely announced as he entered the room, herding in the other members. “Right now, you two need to sleep. We’ve got an early schedule tomorrow.”  
  
“Awwww... You’re no fun, hyung,” Kikwang whined cutely, but climbed off of the bunk, nonetheless. He winked once at Yoseob before ducking under.  
  
Yoseob felt only slightly reassured, but he still felt like he wasn’t doing enough for his friend. Just like the past few nights, he fell into a fitful and frustrated sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “Yeobo” reference is indeed from a moment on “Happy Together” when Rain and Lee Joon were guests on it. I can’t seem to find it on Youtube anymore, but if you can find that moment, it’s worth watching. I’ve never seen Rain look so murderous before. Okay, I have actually, but this time it was hilarious.
> 
> The phrase is actually “half in jest, half in earnest” instead of what I used, which was “half in jest, all in earnest.” It makes more sense to me if I use “all”.
> 
> I’m not sure if ‘finger of God’ is the right term. It was a translation I got while watching “Coffee Prince”, I believe. That gesture was done in two shows that I’ve watched: “Coffee Prince” and “He Who Can’t Marry”. Basically, you clasp your hands together with your index finger out like you’re imitating a gun, and then you shove said fingers hard between someone’s buttcheeks. It’s meant as a joke, and not a sexual gesture of any kind. And I’m sure Kikwang didn’t mean anything sexual when he did that to Yoseob.
> 
> Riiiiight....
> 
> I don’t know about you, but some concepts are really difficult for me to describe. Also, confused characters are really confusing to write. Does that even make sense?
> 
> ...I can’t wait to move on to more fluff/fan-service.


	14. Everything's Fine! Honest!

He was fine. Really.  
  
Of course he wasn’t surprised that Yoseob hadn’t changed his mind. Why would he be? In fact, he had almost been relieved that PD Na was thinking of putting him and Kevin together instead. Kevin seemed sweet enough, and not likely to make as big a deal of this as Yoseob had done.  
  
But that possibility hadn’t lasted very long, had it? Na called him up that evening to apologize for jumping the gun, but Hyung Joon would be participating after all.  
  
Which was fine. The show was in its shaky first stage, so the couples were likely to be iffy for a while. He could be patient.  
  
But then, he called Na a few days later to ask how the search for a new partner had been going. He regretted calling when he did, because the first status update he received was: “G.O. might possibly want to back out...”  
  
 _Oh, God! I don’t want to be stuck with Juri!_ his mind screamed.  
  
“... but that means Juri would also be out. For various reasons that I can’t tell you, I can’t partner you up with her.”  
  
 _Thank God!_ Taecyeon practically melted to the floor in relief.  
  
“So I can’t promise you anyone just yet.”  
  
Which was fine, but it still made him antsy.  
  
Then he heard the news over the TV. The rumors of Yunho and Junsu being paired up on WGM had been confirmed, and SME and C-JeS had released a joint statement agreeing to this fact. The next day, SME announced that while Onew and Yesung were rumored to be another couple on the show, they couldn’t confirm nor deny it since the men hadn’t decided yet.  
  
This suggested to Taecyeon that one of the men was wavering, at least. His suspicions were proven correct when Na called him up an hour later and asked, “How would you feel about being with Yesung?”  
  
“Er, that’s fine, I guess,” said Taecyeon, coming pretty close to not caring just so long as he got a partner. However, he did feel a little bit uncertain about Yesung. He just seemed so... _awkward_.  
  
But then, a few days after the last call, Na called again, saying, “Ummm, I’m sorry Taecyeon-sshi. You may or may not be partnered with Yesung after all. It seems Onew might be changing his mind...”.  
  
“You know what? It doesn’t matter to me,” Taecyeon responded. “Don’t tell me who my partner is until our next filming, okay? If there isn’t someone for me by then, then I’ll be happy to MC like you had previously suggested.”  
  
Which was fine with him. Absolutely fine.  
  
\------------------------------------------------  
  
“It’s fine. It’s fine,” he chanted as he got dressed for another day.  
  
It _was_ fine, he supposed, but this totally was not the ideal situation that Insu and Jaehee had spoken of: “A couple should be committed to each other, through the good and the bad.”  
  
 _Should he feel guilty for giving up on Yoseob? Was he entitled to feel frustrated that no one was committing to him?_  
  
“It’s _fine_ ,” he hissed as he roughly pulled tight his belt and buckled the last accessory before stepping out of the room.  
  
Unfortunately for him, his stalker members wouldn’t let it be “fine”. They knew he would break eventually and tell them who he was married to (he still was withholding that information because of the prank-call incident) if they pressured him enough. They had taken to having at least one person with him at all times.  
  
And right now, Wooyoung was leaning against his door frame. “So, who’s the girl?” he asked, not wasting any time this morning.  
  
“Stop asking,” Taecyeon curtly replied.  
  
“Can’t. Who is she?”  
  
“Butt out.”  
  
“Or is it a guy like with Yunho and Junsu, and Yesung and Onew?”  
  
“You would like to know, wouldn’t you...”.  
  
“I would. Tell me.”  
  
“Pssht!”  
  
“We won’t leave you be until we know.”  
  
“You wouldn’t leave me alone even if you did know.”  
  
“True. But we’re going to find out anyway, sooner or later. Why not sooner?”  
  
Finally, Taecyeon gave up. “I can’t tell you because I _don’t know_!”  
  
That startled Wooyoung into sporting his patented vacant expression. “Huh?” he smartly asked.  
  
“The person I was ‘married’ to backed out, so I’m currently ‘single’. I don’t even know if I am going to be on the show as a married man,” Taecyeon said glumly. Suddenly, the feeling of rejection hit him hard. He felt a lump in his throat, and he realized he was about to cry. He turned around and headed back to his room.  
  
“Hey! We have to leave soon! Don’t take too long in there,” Junsu called after him from the living room. Wooyoung belatedly shushed him and leaned in to whisper in his ear.  
  
Taecyeon didn’t wait to see anyone else’s reaction to the news. When he came out of his bedroom a few minutes later, no one dared to ask him why his eyes looked a bit pink.  
  
\-----------------------------------  
  
The members of 2PM didn’t have to wait much longer to narrow down the options of who the person who had rejected Taecyeon was. All it took was Doojoon stepping in to their dressing room, asking Taecyeon how he was holding up and if he was going to continue with WGM anyway. Taecyeon glared at him to ‘ _shut up_ ’, but it was too late.  
  
Junsu pounced, squeezing painfully between the two men on the couch. “Who is she? Er, he? It? Tell me! Tell me!”  
  
“Er,” was all Doojoon could think to say because he had taken Taecyeon’s hint.  
  
Taecyeon tried futilely to kick Junsu out of the seat, but he quickly realized that Junsu wasn’t the one he should be worried about. Junho and Chansung were speeding to the door, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out where they were going. Wooyoung and Nichkhun mercifully stayed seated, respecting Taecyeon’s space.  
  
Taecyeon ran out of the room, hot on the heels of the two maknaes. He managed to catch Junho’s collar, but Chansung managed to get away.  
  
“Hyung! Why won’t you tell us? We could help you get him, or her, back!” Junho complained while he struggled. Taecyeon shook his collar and manhandled him back toward their dressing room. Once there, he grabbed the roll of duct tape on the counter, rolled up the sleeves of the younger man, and taped him to a chair so he couldn’t leave.  
  
“If _any_ of you release him before we have to go out to perform, _you will die_ ,” Taecyeon growled at the three other members, including Doojoon.  
  
He stepped out of the room once again to look for Chansung. When he was almost to Beast’s dressing room, he saw Yoseob stepping out of the bathroom. Taecyeon froze in place, not knowing what to do.  
  
Yoseob did likewise when he saw Taecyeon, but his pause was only momentary. He shook himself quickly and refocused himself to getting to his dressing room as quickly as possible.  
  
“Yoseob-sshi,” Taecyeon called out, trying to warn him not to go in, but his persistence only made the younger man move faster.  
  
If Taecyeon thought the situation was already bad, he was in for a surprise when he stepped into Beast’s room a second after Yoseob did.  
  
“ _You mean to tell us that you were paired up with a guy?!_ ” a woman’s voice screeched.  
  
Taecyeon nearly ran into Yoseob, who had frozen once again just within the doorway. He followed the younger man’s fearful gaze across the room to a pair of middle-aged adults, who were obviously Yoseob’s parents.  
  
Taecyeon suddenly felt sick, as well as light-headed. He looked over at Chansung, who was looking equally horrified. When he made eye contact with the maknae of 2PM, he flicked his head, indicating that they should make their escape.  
  
But Taecyeon was not fortunate enough to escape quietly. “Was it _you_?” Yoseob’s mother accused, honing in on him. Yoseob’s father looked murderous.  
  
“I- er-,” Taecyeon faltered, stepping back slowly.  
  
“No, it wasn’t him,” Yoseob spoke quickly. In a whisper that only Chansung and Taecyeon could hear, Yoseob hissed, “ _Get out_!”  
  
“Don’t lie, son,” his dad said, also stalking toward them.  
  
“It wasn’t either of them, sir,” Hyunseung said quickly, and that seemed to placate the two parents enough for the 2PM members to escape.  
  
Taecyeon and Chansung walked in silence on the way back until they stepped into their room. Chansung attempted an apology, but Taecyeon couldn’t take it any longer, growing weary of the headache he had been feeling the past few days due to... well, _everything_.  
  
It was no longer fine.  
  
“Don’t say anything!” he yelled angrily at the maknae. Then he glared at everyone else in the room, “I don’t want to hear another word from any of you! You _will_ drop the subject, and no one is _ever_ to meddle in my affairs again, _got it_?” He didn’t wait for an answer before plopping heavily into a spare chair. He whipped out his headphones and turned his music on to full-blast, drowning out the world so he wouldn’t have to deal with its crap for another few hours.  
  
“What happened?” Doojoon asked Chansung once he was sure Taecyeon couldn’t hear anything.  
  
The maknae’s voice shook as he tried not to cry. “I accidently asked everyone in Beast which one of them had been married to hyung before noticing that Yoseob-sshi’s parents were in the room.”  
  
“Yoseob’s parents?” Doojoon asked, horrified. “I didn’t know they were here. How did they react?”  
  
“I- I think... They were angry. It was good we left, because it looked like Yoseob’s dad wanted to kill Taecyeon-hyung.”  
  
“I should go make sure everything’s okay,” Doojoon said, standing up. He looked over at the pale faces of the five 2PM members who were looking at him. “Keep an eye on him,” he said flicking his head over at Taecyeon. “Try to keep away from all of us for today, and we’ll try to distract Yoseob’s parents, okay?” Everyone nodded in understanding, and Doojoon hesitantly left the room in search of the parents.


	15. Alone

Yoseob was unfortunately accustomed to his parents bigoted views. He tried hard not to say anything that would encourage them to rant in front of his friends, but sometimes it was difficult. A member might say something innocent about the army, and they would be treated to an earful of complaints about the laziness of the soldiers nowadays. Someone might say something innocent about American music, and his parents would lecture them about the inappropriateness of their lyrics, and how all Americans were crude and should be pushed out of the country.  
  
Today’s situation was no different, but Yoseob more embarrassed than usual. He looked around at everyone’s down-turned faces as his parents carried on a noisy conversation amongst themselves about their disgust with homosexuals, how they weren’t even human, that they should all die.... Yoseob noticed that even Junhyung -- the member who was the least sympathetic to the homosexual condition -- seemed to feel concern for Kikwang, who was visibly shaking in his seat.  
  
Yoseob attempted weakly to divert the conversation when both of his parents paused for air, “Er, mom, I heard you brought boxed lunches for us-”.  
  
“You did well to call that partnership off, Seobie,” his mom cut in, not listening to her son. “Ugh! And did you see that guy? Even if you had been a girl, I wouldn’t have let you be with a guy like him. He looked like he had all muscles and no brains...”.  
  
He could feel himself burning up in anger. _First, they insult my friends and their beliefs. Second, they make my best friend scared for his life. Third, they insult a perfectly nice guy whom I would have been perfectly happy to pretend to be married to if I weren’t so scared that the rest of the world was like my parents...._  
  
His heart practically broke when Kikwang silently stood up and tried to exit the room.  
  
“Kikwang-ah,” his mother called in a sweet voice. Kikwang froze and slowly turned. He plastered a smile on his face as she asked him if he would like some of the lunch box she had made for him. He politely refused, stating that he would eat it later, after the performance.  
  
Doojoon bumped into him as he tried again to escape, and Yoseob could see that his best friend’s panic was getting the better of him by the way he shoved by. Doojoon did a concerned double-take, and looked like he was having a difficult time deciding whether to come in and take control of the situation or make sure Kikwang was okay. When he looked in, all of the other members gestured (when Yoseob’s parents weren’t looking, of course) for him to go to Kikwang.  
  
It was Junhyung who came to the rescue of everyone left in the dressing room, commenting, “This lunch is excellent, Yang-ommonim. Are the mandarins from Jeju?...”. Thankfully, that was enough to turn the tirade to something less offensive, since no one else really cared about how they were manufactured or anything.  
  
Yoseob felt like crying from humiliation. By the time it was Beast’s turn to be on stage, he was on the verge of a breakdown. It was very difficult for him to control his emotions, and he really, _really_ hoped he could re-navigate his emotions to something more intense and angry like the choreography of the dance required. In the end, he actually did better than he had planned, and almost overshadowed everyone else’s performances. They did their best to keep up, and it was this additional effort that got them the first place on the charts that evening.  
  
But Yoseob couldn’t feel proud. Especially not when his parents started telling him that he was lacking in a few areas, and needed to improve his performance here and there.  
  
It was then that Yoseob realized, that all of his efforts to prove his maturity and self-dependence to his parents -- and all of his future efforts, as well -- would do nothing. His parents would never give him the respect that he felt he deserved. And while supporting his gay friend or participating in WGM with another man would anger them to no end, perhaps even get him disowned, the lack of respect then would be no different than the way it was now.  
  
Looking at his parents as they said their goodbyes, Yoseob had never felt more alone in his life.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
Kikwang came up to him when his parents were gone and gave him a back hug. “You okay?” he asked softly.  
  
Yoseob whipped around and stared at his best friend. “Am _I_ okay?” he squeaked, unable to hold back the tears anymore. “What about _you_ Kiki?” Yoseob didn’t wait for an answer before pulling his best friend in for a bone-breaking hug. “If they _ever_ find out about you and start giving you shit about it, tell me,” Yoseob instructed vehemently. “I’ll take care of them for you.”  
  
Kikwang smacked the back of his head and pushed him away. “Hey! What was I saying about you and feeling like you have to fight the world in my honor? Cut it out Seobie. I’ll be _fine_ ,” Kikwang reassured with a soft smile. He jokingly pinched Yoseob’s cheeks before stepping away and walking toward the other members who were busy taking off their makeup.  
  
Only minutes after feeling so utterly alone, Yoseob stopped feeling that way. He realized that he did have family. Beast was his family. Watching Kikwang interact with the other members, and observing the other members who were aware and accepting of Kikwang’s homosexuality, was enough to make Yoseob realize that he himself was also completely and fully accepted. He had never felt more like he belonged in his life.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
The Beast members were packing the last of their things when a soft knock was heard at their door. Doojoon opened it, and immediately turned to Yoseob. Yoseob raised his eyebrows in question, but became reserved when he saw who it was.  
  
“Er, may I have a word?” Taecyeon asked wearily. Yoseob noticed the tension between the older man’s eyebrows, and felt sympathy for him.  
  
He sighed and stepped out, closing the door behind him. They walked away to a rec room nearby so they could be away from the prying eyes of their respective group members.  
  
“Are you okay?” Taecyeon asked. Yoseob looked at him dumbly because he wasn’t quite sure what Taecyeon was referring to. There were so many things....  
  
“I meant about your parents,” he clarified, realizing that Yoseob didn’t understand. “I wanted to apologize for making things so... difficult. Uncomfortable. I had no intention of bringing the subject of the show up, and I didn’t mean to put you in that position. Chansung didn’t understand the situation beforehand, and therefore didn’t realize that it was a bad idea to bring up the subject. I hadn’t told _any_ of my group who I had been partnered up with. I hope I didn’t cause too much trouble...,” he trailed off, looking to Yoseob to see if there was any possibility of forgiveness.  
  
As much as Yoseob wanted to be angry with someone, he definitely couldn’t put blame on Taecyeon. “My parents’ reactions were not your fault, and you don’t need to apologize for your dongsaeng. _I_ should be the one sorry to _you_ for putting you in such an uncomfortable position. I’m sorry.”  
  
“No, no, it’s okay,” Taecyeon replied quickly, waving his hand rapidly back and forth as if to dispel Yoseob’s guilt.  
  
“So,” Yoseob finally ventured after a long silence after their apologies. “You’re still in the show?”  
  
“Yeah,” said Taecyeon. Yoseob looked over at him because he thought he noted a hint of stress in his voice, but he only saw a deceptively serene face.  
  
“Have they found you a new partner yet?”  
  
“...No. Maybe. I don’t know. I asked them not to tell me until the next filming session,” Taecyeon responded. Yoseob could swear he heard tension.  
  
“Ah,” was all Yoseob could think of to say.  
  
And then there was silence.  
  
“I know I’m being hypocritical by saying this-,” Taecyeon suddenly said in a rush, startling Yoseob out of his mindless daydreaming. He had been right, Taecyeon had been feeling stress, and he was finally letting it out. “-but are you _sure_ you can’t do this? The show, I mean? Dammit. No. That would be a _bad_ idea. Your parents would be so pissed. Forget I said anything. Sorry.” Taecyeon turned away, obviously embarrassed for his outburst. Yoseob noticed his knuckles were white where he gripped the edge of the bench.  
  
Ever since his parents’ unwitting debacle, the temptation to return to the show _had_ crossed Yoseob’s mind a few times. He had passed it off before as a childish desire to fight back at his parents. But now... now that he felt so disconnected from them, he felt no filial need to please them, or go along with their wishes.  
  
But that didn’t mean he would stop trying to get them to respect him.  
  
“If you can tolerate my parents’ pigheadedness and be sure to protect yourself and the rest of 2PM from them, then yes,” Yoseob replied calmly.  
  
Taecyeon stared at him dumbstruck. “Yes?” he checked, asking as if he didn’t understand what the word meant.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“ _Really_?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“One hundred percent sure?”  
  
Yoseob sighed, exasperated. “If you’re going to keep questioning me like this, then-”.  
  
“No! _Nononono_!” Taecyeon protested, flapping both hands in front of him this time to ward away Yoseob’s potential rejection. “You’re sure. Okay then,” he confirmed, letting the matter settle.  
  
“Okay then,” Yoseob repeated.  
  
\--------------------------------  
  
Yoseob came back to the dressing room and burst into tears. Kikwang and Dongwoon rushed up to him and enveloped him in hugs, asking what was wrong.  
  
“Nothing’s wrong,” he replied, shaking in fear in spite of being proud of his decision.  
  
He wiped his tears and turned to the rest of the group, “I’m getting married.”


	16. Of Fanfictions and Familial Quests

All in all, PD Na had done well to hold Super Junior back from writing fanfics about Junsu and Yunho for a while. The sasaeng fans who had followed them that day had done their part in publicizing the fact that they were seen together, and gossip sites were loaded with speculations about why they were together after all this time. Eventually Na released a public announcement in which he explained that he was hoping to work with the two of them on a project, and since the only “project” any of the journalists knew about was WGM, of course all hell broke loose.  
  
It was then that Na dictated it was a good idea to generate the Hosu fanfics. The support that came from the public was so massive, SME and C-JeS were pressured into agreeing to the partnership, and thus the Sunshine Couple became a reality.  
  
Although the Onsung fanfics had been generated first, it was only after the Hosu fanfics that netizens began to take the idea of Onew and Yesung together into serious consideration. Soon after agreeing to let Yunho participate in the show, SME told Yesung that he also could participate, but Onew was out of the question. They said that no matter how hard the public pressed for Onew to participate, the opposition from his parents (and as a result, he himself) was stronger.  
  
Yesung tried to approach Onew to talk with him, but the younger man always managed to find ways to avoid him. Leeteuk offered to help Yesung, but when he tried, Onew avoided Leeteuk like he had the plague. Neither of them could figure out why Onew was suddenly so awkward around them (and Super Junior as a whole, they noticed) except for the fact that he had been put on the show with Yesung.  
  
That, and if he had read the fanfictions about him and Yesung, he was probably mortified.  
  
Super Junior had been in a flurry for much of the past week. Yesung had been surprised by all of the support he had been receiving from his fellow members, since he wasn’t exceptionally close with many of them and didn’t know they cared about him.  
  
Except he suspected they didn’t really care that much, since they were all enjoying the task of writing fanfictions too much, to his embarrassment. There was even a contest going to see who could get the most hits online.  
  
Shindong and Hyukjae were especially having a ball with the task. Thus far in the tally, they had the most hits for their super-sleazy fanfictions. Their username, in fact, was sujuBordello, and they had no qualms about posting fics about other members of Super Junior in addition to the ones about Yesung and Onew.  
  
The things they wrote about him and Onew were so detailed, Yesung couldn’t look at Onew or pictures of him. Whenever he tried, it equalled instant boner. Yesung didn’t like that. He didn’t like thinking of the younger man as a sex object, or something to be desired before being loved. Yesung knew all too well that instant attraction meant nothing in the long run. Even though it most likely meant never obtaining any sort of romantic attachment with the younger man, Yesung wanted to do right by him.  
  
At least, that’s what he’d tried to do many times in the past when he had been in love. That’s how he knew it never worked. And he hated Hyukjae and Shindong’s writings for inflaming his libido and reminding him of the fact.  
  
In an attempt to put down Shindong and Hyukjae, Yesung tried writing fanfiction about them. He wracked his brain for hours, trying to think of some clever plot and something demeaning enough to make them ashamed. He came up with nothing. In frustration, he posted a very short fanfic that looked something like this:  
  
 _'They fucked._ '  
  
To his surprise, it turned out to be a rather original idea, and hundreds of netizens visited his story. Comments ranged from _You are so deranged, whoever you are_ , to ones like _Bwahaha! That was hilarious! I liked sujuBordello’s smutfics, but yours takes the cake._  
  
Shindong and Hyukjae were so proud of him.  
  
It was one of the most disconcerting feelings he had ever experienced, being sandwiched in a congratulatory hug between the two men in their group who he knew watched the most porn. They were even wearing their typical sleazy couple bathrobes (with nothing on underneath, he thought) when they held him. He suspected they did it just to mess with him. In fact, he was sure of it.  
  
The other members had their own flair, as well. They each wrote together with their “significant others”, for the most part.  
  
Leeteuk and Henry, for example, wrote fictions with a PG rating, pairing him and Onew up in a more brotherly setting than romantic. Yesung was most comfortable with their stories, since there was absolutely no lust involved and it was purely focused on the highest sense of real love that Yesung knew of. But he hated that reality never came close to that. Not for him, anyway.  
  
Siwon and Kibum wrote stories that were devoid of characterization and too plot-focused. This surprised Yesung because they were actors, dammit; they should know how to put at least some emotion into their characters. He didn’t care too much, though, since the other stories were much worse.  
  
Heechul and Kyuhyun’s were a strange mix of war stories and the need for sexual release using BDSM techniques. Yesung avoided reading theirs at all costs.  
  
Kangin and Sungmin’s fictions presented himself and Onew as similar to a boy-girl couple, with Onew being the one with more feminine qualities. Yesung would occasionally hear the two younger men in their room role-playing the characters, with Kangin playing the part of Yesung and Sungmin being Onew. Yesung couldn’t stand their stories either, since Sungmin’s portrayal of Onew was just appalling, not to mention extremely inaccurate.  
  
The miminhae4ever team also role-played, Yesung had been told, but they did it away from the Super Junior dorms and in the DBSK dorm instead. They traded off, with two of the men acting the parts and the third writing the story as it went. Their plots were surprisingly colorful and creative, and the characters, although inaccurate, were interesting. They included sexual situations, but they were tolerable, unlike Heechul’s or sujuBordello’s creations. Yesung wished his love life could be as sentimental, romantic, and bold as the ones that were written about in miminhae4ever’s fanfics, but he knew he had too much awkwardness within himself to portray himself as anything else.  
  
Ryeowook’s fanfictions were the most accurately written, because his situation was similar to Yesung’s: lonely. His stories made Yesung sad. When Ryeowook wrote about him and Onew, sometimes the love his character had for Onew wouldn’t reach him. Yesung could relate, but he really didn’t want to.  
  
Yesung didn’t -- _couldn’t_ \-- write any fanfictions about himself and Onew. The other members prodded him to do so, but he just couldn’t get over the uncomfortable feeling that it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. He couldn’t write about a romantic situation with someone who he was sure would never love him back. Writing imagined things was too close to lying, and Yesung really didn’t like lying.  
  
“But Hyung! It’s important to let yourself dream a little,” Ryeowook had scolded during one of his periodic pity-sessions. “Dreams are where the romance is, and you’ll never get any of that by locking it away.”  
  
“I’ll never get any of that by showing it either,” Yesung countered vehemently. “Let’s just face it, there’s no way Jinki-sshi would ever fall for a guy like me. Even if I was a girl, there’s no way that would ever happen.”  
  
Yesung kept telling himself things like that, but the truth of the matter was he wanted to dream. He wanted to try. He knew he would probably fail, but he would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try to convince Onew to continue with the show.  
  
\------------------------------------  
  
He went to the only people he knew could help: Shinee.  
  
“ _What_? You mean the rumors are true?” Jonghyun asked, genuinely surprised.  
  
Key sniggered when Yesung nodded, and he held a hand out to Jonghyun. Jonghyun shoved it away, muttering, “I’ll give you the money later, when I have it.”  
  
“So, how are you going to convince Jinki-hyung to do it? Based on the way he changes the subject every time we try to bring it up, he doesn’t want to do it,” Key observed.  
  
Yesung sighed, disappointed. “So that’s it, then? It isn’t that he won’t do it because his parents are objecting to it, he just doesn’t want to do it?”  
  
“No! No,” Key said quickly. “I don’t know that for sure. I’m sure he has nothing against you. His parents are a force to be reckoned with, though.”  
  
“So, if I managed to convince his parents that this is okay, might he be more open to it?”  
  
“That could work,” Key agreed. “But still, you’ll need help.”  
  
Taemin and Minho, who had been quietly listening until now, perked up at this. Taemin asked Key, “By ‘help’, do you mean us?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“Okay!” Taemin cheered. Then he looked thoughtful. “With or without Yesung-hyung?”  
  
“With. Do you honestly think Jinki-hyung’s parents would agree to this marriage, or any marriage, without meeting the spouse first?”  
  
“Er, no.”  
  
“Well then, your job is to get Jinki-hyung’s parents to meet Yesung, make them see how awesome a husband he would be to our hyung using your maknae powers, and get them to allow the marriage to happen. After that, it’s up to Jinki-hyung whether he does this show or not.”  
  
With that, Yesung, Minho, and Taemin set out to woo Onew’s parents.  
  
\------------------------------------  
  
“Hyung-nim? What are you _wearing_?” Minho asked with a pleasantly bewildered smile.  
  
Yesung looked down at himself. Was the suit and bow tie too much?  
  
“He has to look good for his in-laws,” Taemin answered for him. “If he doesn’t, then they might think he’s too sloppy to be their son-in-law.”  
  
“Remember that comment his mom once made when you and I visited? The one where she said she would totally give Jinki-hyung to one of us if only one of us had been a girl, or if he had been a girl. We were both well-dressed, and our politeness impressed her,” Taemin added. Minho nodded. “If Yesung-hyung does the same as we had done, and puts in a bit more effort to get the guy, then maybe we can at least turn Jinki-hyung’s mom’s mind around.”  
  
Yesung felt a twinge of jealousy that Onew’s mom favored these two men so much, and consequently his nerves were getting the better of him by the time they reached the chicken store Onew’s parents owned.  
  
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Yesung said, feeling a bit sick. His hands were sweating and shaking around the base of the bouquet of flowers he had planned on giving the mom.  
  
Two sets of hands gripped his elbows, firmly holding him in place and keeping him from fleeing. “Too late, hyung,” Taemin sang happily as he held open the door and helped Minho to shove the older man in.  
  
To everyone’s surprise, Onew was there, behind the counter, helping his dad with preparations for the noon rush.  
  
“I’m sorry, but we’re clo-,” he said, turning to what he thought was customers. He was so surprised when he saw Yesung, he dropped the tray he was holding.  
  
Forgetting his nervousness at the moment, Yesung dropped the flowers he was holding and rushed around the counter to check up on the younger man. Fortunately the tray had only been holding napkins and plastic utensils, so there was no way Onew could possibly be hurt.  
  
Until he cut his finger on a plastic knife blade while picking it up, that is, which even Yesung thought was a lame thing to do.  
  
 _Well, in terms of the epic-fail qualities, we match pretty well_ , Yesung thought as he quickly whipped out a handkerchief and held it to the small cut.  
  
“Um, thanks,” Onew muttered, hastily trying to get back on task, but failing when Yesung decided to take over completely.  
  
Onew’s dad came over and peered down at Yesung. Yesung’s insides cringed, but he stood up and faced him nonetheless.  
  
“Who’s this?” the dad asked Onew.  
  
“He’s... um,” Onew tried.  
  
Minho came to his rescue, “This is Yesung-hyung, the one who was assigned to Onew as a husband.”  
  
Yesung shakily put down the tray he had put back together and bowed at a ninety degree angle. “Pleased to meet you, sir.”  
  
“Er, likewise,” said the father uncertainly. “And, why are you here?”  
  
Yesung, being a man of very few words, couldn’t think of anything to say.  
  
Minho came to the rescue again. “ _We_ are here to see if you might change your mind about letting Jinki-hyung on the show.”  
  
“Eheh, no,” chuckled Onew’s dad.  
  
“Why not?” pouted Taemin, using his maknae aegyo to make the older man feel guilty.  
  
“Er,” he glanced over at Onew. Apparently the dad was also a man of few words.  
  
“It will only be for a few months,” Taemin persuaded. “Yesung-hyung takes good care of his dongsaengs. He may be quiet, but he listens well to others and is respectful of them. He’s _very_ respectful of his elders, and I’m sure you won’t be dissatisfied about having him as a son-in-law.”  
  
“But he’s a _man_ ,” Onew’s dad stated.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“And Jinki’s a _man_.”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“This doesn’t seem _odd_ to you?” the dad asked, slightly amused.  
  
“No. Why should it be? Who would be better suited at taking care of a man’s needs than another man?” Taemin asked innocently.  
  
Yesung tried really hard not to imagine “needs” being “taken care of” by way of blow jobs, rimming, fucking, etc. He folded his hands over his crotch, pretending he was adjusting his posture to be more respectful.  
  
“Hmmm, that’s true,” said Onew’s father thoughtfully.  
  
“I _beg_ your pardon?” demanded a woman’s voice from the doorway to the kitchen. Onew’s mom stepped through and glared at her husband in disbelief. “Are you _kidding me_?”  
  
“Of course not, dear. You’ve done a great job taking care of my needs, so of course women are just as good as men in that area,” Onew’s dad replied diplomatically. His wife huffed indignantly.  
  
“Anyhow, the answer is _no_ ,” she said pointedly to Yesung.  
  
“But what if I can prove that I can take care of him?” Yesung argued, finally finding his voice. Onew’s eyes, which had been downcast during the entire exchange, flicked up to him with a doubtful expression.  
  
Onew’s mom laughed outright, while his dad gave a mildly amused chuckle. “I’d like to see you try,” she challenged.  
  
“Okay,” Yesung agreed good-naturedly. He found he was rather pleased with the surprised expressions on their faces.  
  
Onew’s mom fumed silently for a few seconds before she exploded, “Fine then! If you can pass all of the challenges we throw at you this afternoon, then we’ll let you ‘marry’ our son.” Everyone present looked at her in shock, especially Onew.  
  
“Everyone, family counsel!” she announced, indicating that her husband and son should follow her. They retreated into the kitchen, and Onew looked at Yesung pityingly before following.  
  
When they were gone, Yesung deflated and had to support himself on the counter. Taemin skipped over and clapped his hands, cheering “Well done! You’ve got a chance!”  
  
Minho handed Yesung the bouquet of flowers he had dropped before. “Good luck,” he said sincerely. “You’re going to need it.”  
  
Yesung allowed himself to be buoyed up by their encouragements. Ignoring the fact that the three Lee’s were probably making up some impossible tasks for him to accomplish, he set out to garner some good first impressions when they returned by taking over the setup for the noon rush that Onew and his dad had previously been working on.  
  
 _I hope I pass the test_ , Yesung thought to himself as he arranged the flowers in some spare cups and distributed them around the tables.


	17. The Challenge

“Seriously Dad? _That’s_ the best you could come up with?”  
  
Onew’s dad -- here and hereafter in the chapter known as “Dad” -- shrugged and said, “Compared to what you and your mom probably have in store for him, he’s at least got a better chance at this. But even so, fifty orders all alone in an hour is a lot, and he has to make sure they’re all delivered within that hour. That means he’ll have to come back and help, too.”  
  
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you _wanted_ him to bond with the family,” Onew accused.  
  
“And what’s wrong with that?” Dad asked in self-defense. “I don’t necessarily approve of having him as your husband, but I’m always happy for us to have more people in our family. After all, the rest of Shinee are like family, so what’s wrong with another person joining our family?”  
  
“Everyone hush!” demanded Onew’s mom -- aka “Mom” -- as she stared intently at the paper she was writing on. It was a list of everything Yesung would have to take care of for Dad’s challenge. “We should confiscate his phone, so he doesn’t call in any more customers to complete this mission,” she muttered to herself, adding that into the notes.  
  
Onew leaned in and said more quietly, so he wouldn’t distract Mom, “Dad, are you seriously that dissatisfied with me? One son isn’t enough, so you need more than five?” He jutted his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout.  
  
Dad reached out and swung his son’s head in close enough so he could land a kiss on his forehead. “You are more than enough for me, Kiddo. I just worry that you don’t go out and make more friends.”  
  
“Okay! All done,” Mom announced. She turned to Onew. “Jinki? What’s your challenge?”  
  
“Ttakbam. If he cries, he’s out.”  
  
“Seriously Jinki-ah? _That’s_ the best you could come up with?” Dad teased, for which Onew raised his hands in a threat to do ttakbam on him.  
  
“It’s quick and uncomplicated,” Onew replied in explanation.  
  
“Heheh, and it’s therefore the complete opposite of mine,” Mom said mischievously.  
  
“What’s yours, Mom?”  
  
“To get you to tidy your room by dinner time,” she answered him with a straight face.  
  
The two men in the room laughed raucously. Both wiped imaginary tears from their eyes.  
  
“Yeah right, like that will ever happen,” Onew sarcastically said.  
  
“Poor guy,” Dad said sympathetically.  
  
Everyone agreed.  
  
\------------------------------------  
  
To everyone’s surprise, Yesung was well on his way to being prepared for Dad’s challenge. “I’ve helped out now and then at my parent’s cafe. Did I set this up right?” Yesung asked, gesturing to the tables that had been cleaned and set up for a fresh batch of customers.  
  
Mom shook herself out of her reverie. “Yes, well, you did well for now,” she said gruffly. “But first, hand Jinki your phone. He’ll take care of it and any calls that come in for you. Your first task starts now. You may get to work on either of the other tasks whenever you want.” She thrust the paper of tasks into his hands. That done, she turned around and went into the kitchen to finish her own preparations.  
  
Yesung looked fearful. “ _Ttakbam_?” he squeaked, glancing at Onew. Onew crossed his arms and tried to paste an expression on his face that said _‘no, I’m not going to let you off easily’_. It worked, apparently, because Yesung didn’t look soothed. When he read the third item on the list, he looked up at Onew intensely and pointed to him. “ _You_! Tidy up your room!” he ordered.  
  
Onew lifted up an eyebrow haughtily and walked away to the staircase that lead to his family’s loft. He jerked his head to Taemin and Minho sitting at a table, indicating that they follow him.  
  
“Shouldn’t one of us stay to see that he does the challenge properly?” Minho asked.  
  
“Nah, Mom and Dad will take care of that,” Onew said dismissively. “Just come with me to my room to play.”  
  
“You aren’t going to do any tidying up?” Taemin asked accusingly.  
  
Onew snorted derisively. “Nope. Even if I wanted to do that, it’s an impossible task.” They got to his room and looked around the mess that was years in the making. Onew sighed. “You know how frustrated I get when I try to work this... shit... into anything manageable,” he gestured to everything in the room.  
  
The two maknaes ‘hmmm’ed in sympathy. They did indeed know, having been witness to the inevitable temper tantrums that came from Onew when he had to sort through something so simple as fan gifts. “Do I keep these, or do I send them to charity? Which charity do I send them to? You don’t know? Dang it, they’ll have to stay here until I do my research. I don’t really have much time for that, so these will be in the way for a while. I don’t really want them here. I wish people would stop giving me things!” he would routinely say, and consequently dissolve into a panic attack that would turn him into a raving maniac. No one liked Onew at times like those. And it would take him forever to do the task. He’d get started, give up because it was too overwhelming, step out of the room to try and clear his head, step back in the room, try again.... It usually ended up with him in the shower -- the only private and uncluttered place in the Shinee dorm -- growling angrily to himself and possibly crying.  
  
“And besides, even if things are put into a nicer arrangement, I won’t be able to find anything afterwards. I’ve grown accustomed to this, so I know where everything is,” he explained, flopping onto his bed.  
  
“Y’know, we _could_ help you,” Taemin offered.  
  
“Nope,” Onew shook his head. “That would be equally frustrating. You’d want to know where you should put things so I know where they are, and that would mean I would still be designated the task of having to figure out where everything should go. Face it, guys, it’s impossible.”  
  
Taemin and Minho looked at each other. “Hyung, do you or do you not want to be on the show with Yesung-hyung?” Minho finally asked.  
  
Onew sighed and turned to the wall, curling up into a ball. The younger men sat down on the bed and hovered over him. “I don’t know,” he replied finally.  
  
“Explain.”  
  
“Well, first, he’s kind of... awkward. I don’t really know all that much about him. Even when we got drunk together, the conversation was slow and choppy. I did some research on him, though, and he’s hilarious. His dry humor is great. But even so, I don’t really know how to talk with him. Second, I know how to do fan-service, but surely that isn’t all that they want us to do on the show, right? If we do only fan-service, it will look like... fluff. That’s not what the viewers want to see. And _third_ ,” he paused now because he was reaching the point that he was most frustrated about, “I have _no fucking clue_ how to romance a guy. I’ve watched enough dramas to tell me vaguely how to treat a girl, but what the hell do I do with a _guy_?”  
  
Taemin chose this moment to drape himself over Onew and look into his eyes at an awkward angle. “Hyung, do you love me?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes.  
  
Onew glared at him, but allowed himself a chuckle anyway. He pushed at Taemin to get him to move away. “Yes, but not in that way.”  
  
“I think it just takes time,” Minho said, bringing the conversation back to the subject. “Very few of the other previous marriages in the show have started out where the people knew each other, just like with you. What’s the harm in giving it a try? If it doesn’t go well, then they have lots of couples already. One loss won’t make much of a difference.”  
  
“What’s the harm in _not_ giving it a try?” Onew countered. “One loss won’t make much of a difference.”  
  
“Your fans will be so disappointed,” Taemin suggested. “Seriously, haven’t you been reading the fanfictions that have been popping up?”  
  
Onew’s eye twitched. Of course he had read a few. Some were great, and some were bad. Horrible. Vomit-inducing. Thanks to some of the fanfictions, he now knew all there was to know -- or most of it -- about sex between men.  
  
Although, the newly acquired knowledge _did_ have him a little bit intrigued.... Onew shook his head, trying to dispel those thoughts.  
  
“And besides, you need the practice. How are you ever going to know how to treat the future love of your life without the practice you so obviously need,” Minho quipped, poking his foot.  
  
“Geez. You and my dad...” Onew tsked, kicking at Minho’s hand to get it away.  
  
As if on cue, Onew’s dad popped his head in. “Working hard or hardly working?” he inquired looking around. He shook his head sadly when he saw all of them on the bed, obviously not working.  
  
“Well, I think you should take a break from your productive work and come downstairs to see what’s going on. It’s _awesome_!” Dad said gleefully.  
  
The three younger men looked at each other disbelievingly. _Did Dad just have a fanboy moment?_ Onew wondered as he watched his dad turn away and possibly skip toward the stairs.  
  
They crept downstairs and peered into the dining area. There was a rather reasonable crowd, and many of them had their meals already. It was already half an hour in, and it looked like Yesung was more than halfway in his acquisition of customers.  
  
“He’s _brilliant_!” gushed Dad from behind them, making them jump at his sudden reappearance. “Even though his phone’s been confiscated, there’s been no way to stop the fangirls from calling their friends over. Also, he seems to have some magical ability to do work efficiently in the kitchen and even allow for time for your mom to kick up her heels and relax.”  
  
Onew and the maknaes peered into the kitchen. Indeed, Mom was sitting in a chair while Yesung quickly prepared the chicken to be served. He flashed them a smile as he scooted past and delivered the orders to a bunch of girls who clambered for a picture with him on their hand phones.  
  
One of the girls spotted the three Shinee members in the doorway and screeched at them to come over. They politely complied and indulged them in a few pictures.  
  
“Onew-oppa! Are you really going to marry Yesung-oppa?” one of them asked.  
  
“You would make such a cute couple!” another squealed.  
  
“Can I get a picture of the two of you together?” a third requested.  
  
Onew found himself bustled toward Yesung with the help of the fans and his friends. He glared at Minho and Taemin, who were smiling cheekily at him. He sighed and held up a ‘v-sign’ as they all started taking pictures. Yesung’s arm slipped around his waist, pulling him a little bit closer. His breath caught, surprised, and his skin... _tingled_... where the older man’s arm hovered over.  
  
“Would you please look at each other?” someone asked. “And do it lovingly!” another demanded, causing all of the girls in the room to squeal in excitement.  
  
Onew looked over and looked wide-eyed at Yesung, who was really close. He could feel the older man’s soft breath blowing on his face. Onew’s heart began beating frantically.  
  
Before he had time to think about any of it, he was being pushed away. “You need to go clean your room,” Yesung explained to his questioning glance.  
  
The girls sighed unhappily as Taemin and Minho ‘helpfully’ ushered Onew up the stairs. Once they were back in his room, they shoved him on the bed and started picking up things.  
  
“What are you doing?” Onew questioned, even though it was obvious.  
  
“We’re helping you clean your room. There’s nothing on the challenge paper that says we can’t,” Minho explained wisely.  
  
Taemin paused in folding up a shirt to pat Onew’s knee. “Don’t worry, Hyung. We’ll draw you a map so you can remember where everything is.”  
  
Giving up, Onew shook his head baffled and turned back to the wall. _There’s no way they’ll be able to finish it in time_ , he thought as he attempted to sleep.  
  
He woke up a few hours later to his dad popping in and announcing, “Dinner in five minutes!”  
  
Onew rolled onto his back and rubbed at his eyes, trying to adjust to the light.  
  
He heard a low whistle from his dad. “Wow. You guys have done a great job! I would call this a win, but did Jinki help at all?”  
  
Wide awake now, Onew sat up and looked around. _Where the hell am I?_ he wondered as he stared at the floor space that had magically appeared.  
  
Yesung -- who had come in after his hour was up in the dining room, presumably -- turned to Onew, pointed to a shirt crumpled by the head of his bed, and asked, “Jinki-shii, would you please hand me that shirt?”  
  
Onew didn’t think as he did as Yesung asked.  
  
“See?” Yesung answered Dad nonchalantly as he folded the shirt and placed it in a dresser drawer. “He helped.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Dad agreed.  
  
“Dad!” Onew protested.  
  
Dad just stuck his tongue out at him. “Dinner in four!” he announced, turning away again to go to the loft’s dining room.  
  
Onew shook his head, baffled. “Did he pass Dad’s test?” he asked Minho as the younger man guided him off the bed so he could straighten the sheets.  
  
Minho just rolled his eyes and said, “Do you even have to ask?”  
  
Onew looked over at his clear desk, where Taemin was finishing up drawing him a map, like he had promised.  
  
Mom came in and looked around the room. All she said before leaving was _'huh_ '.  
  
“What’s wrong with _her_?” Onew asked everyone, panic now rising in his chest. His mom had seemed almost pleased that Yesung was succeeding.  
  
“Yesung-hyung has proven himself to be the perfect candidate for son-in-law,” Minho stated. Yesung smiled shyly as he quickly swept the floor.  
  
Taemin and Minho stepped out of the room to join Onew’s parents in the dining room. Onew made to follow, but Yesung grabbed his elbow and gently guided him to sit on his bed. “Wait a moment, please,” the older man said softly before taking Onew’s trash can out of the room.  
  
When he came back in, the trash can was empty. Yesung pulled out the desk chair and sat facing Onew. He massaged his hands for a bit before he found his words.  
  
“I understand that you probably don’t want to do this,” Yesung said, smiling apologetically. Onew looked down at his own hands, unable to look at him. “And I don’t doubt that you can make me cry with your ttakbam powers, knowing your reputation.” Onew smirked slightly. “But I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay with it if you don’t want to do the show. You don’t need to feel forced into doing anything.”  
  
Yesung paused. Onew looked up at him, and it was evident that the older man was contemplating whether or not to say something. He did say something, in the end, but Onew didn’t know if Yesung wanted to say more.  
  
“It would be nice, being partnered with you,” Yesung told him shyly.  
  
Onew didn’t know why, but he felt his face warming in a blush.  
  
Yesung’s eyes became shifty and he stood up abruptly. “We should go out there, probably, yes?” he asked, not looking Onew in the eye.  
  
“Wait,” Onew said, and Yesung stopped walking toward the door. “Turn around.” Yesung turned hesitantly, looking at the younger man questioningly. Onew stepped up close to him, lifted his right hand over the older man’s face, and hooked back his middle-right finger with his other hand. Understanding what was about to happen, Yesung gulped nervously and closed his eyes.  
  
Onew released his finger and it landed in the middle of Yesung’s forehead with a loud ' _thunk'_.  
  
\------------------------------------  
  
Yesung was back in his own room at the Super Junior dorms. He lay in bed, rubbing his hand over the small, round bruise on his forehead.  
  
 _It had hurt like hell. His vision had gone black for a few seconds before he could see again. The numbness that had taken over after the initial pain had kept him from noticing the tears that were falling as a physical reaction rather than an emotional reaction.  
  
When he did regain his sense of feeling, he had felt such disappointment  
  
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” Onew had asked anyway, not realizing that his parents had already offered.  
  
“If you don’t mind,” Yesung replied, not wanting to leave just yet despite being beaten. He quickly wiped his tears away.  
  
They both walked quietly to the dining room. Everyone looked up from the table expectantly.  
  
“We’re getting married,” Onew announced, to Yesung’s surprise.  
  
The maknaes cheered, and even Mom and Dad looked delighted.  
  
Even so, Mom had to make sure: “But you haven’t done the ttakbam yet!”  
  
Yesung felt Onew’s cool hand brush the hair away from his forehead. Yesung tried not to enjoy it too much, just like he tried not to let his excitement of being married to Onew show too much.  
  
“Yes I did. See the spot?”   
  
“Oooooo...” said Dad, Taemin, and Minho as they stared at the red mark in awe.  
  
Mom stepped up to Yesung and placed her hands on either side of his face, looking at him seriously. Then, with a slight smile, she concluded, “No tears.”  
  
“Welcome to the family!” she said, suddenly becoming boisterous. The rest of the room cheered, and Yesung finally allowed himself to feel happy and grin.  
  
Even Onew smiled._  
  
Yesung’s door burst open and Donghae and Hyukjae rushed in.  
  
“What’s the news?” they asked eagerly. Yesung had called them when he had finished his first task and gotten his phone back, so they knew all about the challenges.  
  
Yesung simply smiled and pulled back his bangs to show off his battle-bruise.  
  
The sound of their cheers was deafening as they dragged him out of his room and into the living room. Pretty soon, most of the rest of Super Junior had come out and were congratulating him with hugs and high-fives.  
  
He even tolerated another hug-sandwich from Shindong and Hyukjae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo! End of Part 2! I may or may not post the beginning of Part 3 tomorrow. I may need some time to get my thoughts organized first.
> 
> Thanks for reading until now! I hope you've enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...


End file.
